I want my sister to have it all. She’s the responsible one anyways. She very much has her shit together. Iv got it together for now. I’m likely to go off the rails any day. Iv been off the rails. It’s nice sometimes going down that path. Nothing matters when you’re there. Nobody else matters. There’s truly not giving a fuck. What if I’m homeless? ’Who cares. What if I’m dead? Who cares. You can always be dead the next day anyways so why bother. All the money in the world can’t buy that freedom. That’s a freedom that must be earned with failure, pain, and misery. Then when you die it’s over anyways so it never mattered