What are you, stupid or something? Everyone knows that when men get older they start to lactate uncontrollably. It's a genetic, tribal trait dating back to the days when we lived in caves. In modern times, it takes the form of kids saying, "hey, dad...can I borrow the car?" or "hey Uncle Milk, can you spare a few bucks?". It's how we've survived for generations, hence the targeted ads.
That probably explains why my nipples are itchy.
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