exactly, totally horrifying thing to live with.

It's not that AA is not good, it's how they describe alcoholism that I didn't like since I knew a copout would be saying it was other than my stupid choices. I also don't like lying so when they asked us to pick a higher power I kind of cringed inside, I was lost since I didn't know God then and thought saying I did would be a bad thing to do lying about a God I did not know existed yet felt like a super disrespectful thing to do.

I felt it would be lying to myself and would be insulting to the ones that believed. I was in Jersey when I was in AA and it was insanely funny which relieved me since I tended then to be shy in groups of strangers when I wasn't drunk.

I later found out comedians that were not alcoholics would practice their acts at AA to gauge their impact on an audience and my sides were screaming in pain from these guys that would tell their stories and everyone had tears rolling also.

I also learned not all coffee at AA meetings is the same. I think I ended up bringing a coffee or soda to them in case you got the stuff that tasted like late mornings McDonalds coffee with that oh so burnt smell to it.