It's been some time, and yet i feel like the intensity at which i miss my wife is increasing. She died in a pretty traumatic way, alive in the morning, than dead for no reason within an hour. I never got answers, or anything. And yet i feel like my body is slowly decaying from the grief. I feel like i just want to stay at home and mope, and just do the bare minimum. I dont drink, i do have a church and i work out, and yet i still cant get out of this feeling.
I decided to stupidly look up rigor mortis and how it works, and now i feel like this entire issue IS my fault. She had some RM in her right arm, and if i had woken up earlier, there is definitely something i could have done, right? I mean people dont just drop for no reason, and if she was already exhibiting symptoms of post death decay, than i failed as a husband.
And yet i feel like my body and brain are just using this artificial mask, to suppress issues even further. I look happy to others, and yet, i feel miserable.
It's been some time, and yet i feel like the intensity at which i miss my wife is increasing. She died in a pretty traumatic way, alive in the morning, than dead for no reason within an hour. I never got answers, or anything. And yet i feel like my body is slowly decaying from the grief. I feel like i just want to stay at home and mope, and just do the bare minimum. I dont drink, i do have a church and i work out, and yet i still cant get out of this feeling.
I decided to stupidly look up rigor mortis and how it works, and now i feel like this entire issue IS my fault. She had some RM in her right arm, and if i had woken up earlier, there is definitely something i could have done, right? I mean people dont just drop for no reason, and if she was already exhibiting symptoms of post death decay, than i failed as a husband.
And yet i feel like my body and brain are just using this artificial mask, to suppress issues even further. I look happy to others, and yet, i feel miserable.
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