Follow your bliss. Remember things that made you happy as a child and find those thing in your life today. Look for every smell or sound that triggers a memory of happier times. Buy yourself some clothes some cool shit that makes you happy. Strangely, it's usually stuff that's cheap. When you do things like this, you tell your self you have worth, you matter. You are hammered daily by tv and media that you are evil. Turn that shit off and read, even audio books. Bolster your self esteem and lose the losers that get you down, even if you have to move away. You come into this life alone, and you leave it alone. There are worse things than being alone. One more thing, never waste good scotch on niggers.