Diogenes the Cynic - Masturbated and shit in public. Begged food off other people because he was too lazy to work or go find food for himself. Lived like a dirty hippy. Had no family, respected no one. Not liking this guy so much.
Alexander the Great had heard of his wisdom, and decided to visit him in the Athens market.
Alexander found him napping nude in the sunlight.
He stood directly before him, casting a shadow over him, and said
I am Alexander, and I am King of all you see around you. I have heard much of your wisdom, and Philosophy, and of you want, I shall grant you one favor
Gold, or a court appointment, or banging mad whores, all of those could've been Diogenes'
Hearing as much, Diogenes has but one request
Yes, please, step out of my sunlight. I was trying to nap.
Alexander was so impressed by this, that he responded
If I was not Alexander, I would wish to be Diogenes
To which Diogenes responded
If I was not Diogenes, I would also wish to be Diogenes
Oops, you're right. I forgot to mention he was a egomaniac as well.
You really think so?
I always like a person who truly doesn't give a shit about other people's opinions.
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