The missus is on dumb Facebook, talking to all her old friends, and one of my old friends came on to blab on at her about stuff. She told me to come home to chat on Facebook with him, but fuck that, fuck Facebook, it's nice on this boat, damn it! So I called him instead. Last I heard, he was separated from his gal, as was I at the time,so we made decent drinking buddies at the time... Well I got back with my wife and so did he, it turns out, and they're having a kid! I am so happy for them (and also probably a bit jealous), and clearly y'all needed to know, for some reason.