Music is neither a weapon or a tool, it's just a nice thing.
You can make sex into a weapon or a tool if you want, but look at what it costs.
I’d argue using it as a tool to strengthen marriages has no negative effects and arguably is what it’s purpose should be.
I guess it depends what you have in mind.
Treating like we'd treat anything that was important to the other person, and good of us as a couple, is just a recognition of reality. Make time for it, treat it like an important thing, be there for each other. Sure.
But doing it when you don't want to, out of a sense of duty, is a recipe for resentment. It's poisonous to continue down that path.
The thing is, when you marry, your partner might someday no longer want sex. It might be a genuine, innocent, natural thing. If that's not OK, don't marry them.
Humans are sexual beings, its our baser drive if a human being doesn't want sex there they have some other problem that is causing that. A marriage without sex does not work. I challenge you to find an example where it does and is healthy. I've looked I couldn't find an example of that. Giving your partner sex when you are not in the mood doesn't lead to resentment if you are doing it for the right reasons IE because your love your partner and want them to be happy, I know I have done it and I have no resentment about it. In fact quite frequently I find I am glad I did and my wife has said the same for most occasions. Sex is not this special thing that married people should only do when they both happen to be in the mood, human beings are different and will be in the mood at different times marriage is an agreement to try and make you and your spouses life better and sometimes that requires sacrifice, and more often than not you will be glad you made the sacrifice if you are truly in the marriage for the right reasons.
If you are married then I am genuinely sorry you feel that way. I'd wager a guess you are missing out on some really good times that can be had when you set your personal feelings aside and do something just to make your spouse happy. Some of the best conversations my wife and I have had were after I did just this. So if you are not swayed by my argument I will just have to say respectfully agree to disagree.
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