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Just type your symptoms below and a medical professional will diagnose you.

Just type your symptoms below and a medical professional will diagnose you.

(post is archived)

[–] [deleted] • 3 pts

I have an itchy ass and a small goiter on my left elbow. I'm scared. Im about ready to give all my possessions to a couple of Mormons that are sitting on my couch who are eating my last roll of toilet paper.

[–] • 1 pt

Those aren't mormons, their jehovah's witnesses. It sounds like you have a side effect of Corona called the virus stress. I prescribe heavy does of psychoactive substances

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

Witnesses. That explains why they used a rainbow slide to send my birthday cake to hell. Thanks doc!

[–] • 3 pts

your symptoms below

[–] • 2 pts

swelling and pain around the anus, notable lack of fever, sore throat but no cough

[–] • 2 pts

My erection has lasted more than 5 hours

[–] • 3 pts

Yet another Viagra victim...

Your dick will soon turn dark and drop off.

[–] • 2 pts

But do I have the China flu?

[–] • 2 pts

Giant penis with two hour erections in the morning

[–] • 3 pts

Sorry friend, sounds like you have the kungflu

[–] • 1 pt

Oy vey, now I'm just another statistic. Have we reached 6 million HoloCough deaths yet?

[–] • 1 pt

We're at 6 gurriliion!!! Oy vey. Think of children.

[–] • 2 pts

I have a retarded kid in my mailbox

[–] • 0 pt

its a fucking virus