Sure it's tough enough to not hate the coldest month in the region but I can generally find my way clear to give it its due and come away even if not with a smile. This year though, it hasn't been so easy. Here I am, two days into the new and dwelling too much on the pains of the last month. Days fresh they might be but they are the last month's pains. Don't we love how pain bleeds. One day into... One week into... One Month into... One year into the next.
My fine and fair, soon to be ex, wife found herself in need of the emergency room. It was a fine time, I assure you. She diagnosed herself with a heart attack which by good grace and level heads was determined to be an acute inflammation of the gall bladder, possibly a stone; the most recent tests have yet to be fully examined.
Just the week before I was enjoying a night out to the symphony; Gershwin's Rhapsody In Blue followed by Rachmaninoff's 3rd concerto. It was amazing. Put aside the fact that I had managed to drive all month in the weather and not crash or be crashed into and that PBS finally released season 6 of Endeavour to Amazon (I benefit from her paying for Prime. I might even miss it when it's time is passed.). That show was enough to put the month on the calendar.
Now I'm at loggerheads on that month and perhaps this one as well. I'm no great fan of time. It tends to chafe as it passes. Even as its passing is eased by trifling concerns and amusements it rubs and wares new wrinkles, creases, folds, and scars into the depth of me.
I wonder if the true weight of life isn't more easily born in nightmares that can be judged as fancy and put to bed as such.
Sure it's tough enough to not hate the coldest month in the region but I can generally find my way clear to give it its due and come away even if not with a smile. This year though, it hasn't been so easy. Here I am, two days into the new and dwelling too much on the pains of the last month. Days fresh they might be but they are the last month's pains. Don't we love how pain bleeds. One day into... One week into... One Month into... One year into the next.
My fine and fair, soon to be ex, wife found herself in need of the emergency room. It was a fine time, I assure you. She diagnosed herself with a heart attack which by good grace and level heads was determined to be an acute inflammation of the gall bladder, possibly a stone; the most recent tests have yet to be fully examined.
Just the week before I was enjoying a night out to the symphony; Gershwin's Rhapsody In Blue followed by Rachmaninoff's 3rd concerto. It was amazing. Put aside the fact that I had managed to drive all month in the weather and not crash or be crashed into and that PBS finally released season 6 of Endeavour to Amazon (I benefit from her paying for Prime. I might even miss it when it's time is passed.). That show was enough to put the month on the calendar.
Now I'm at loggerheads on that month and perhaps this one as well. I'm no great fan of time. It tends to chafe as it passes. Even as its passing is eased by trifling concerns and amusements it rubs and wares new wrinkles, creases, folds, and scars into the depth of me.
I wonder if the true weight of life isn't more easily born in nightmares that can be judged as fancy and put to bed as such.
(post is archived)