I feel violated just reading about it.
The smartest person in the family was the black guy's first son. He was a rascal as the smarter ones usually are and always trying to outsmart me and manipulate but it was serious fun to get over on him.
His weakness was Juicy Fruit gum and those Now & Later candy squares. So I and his 14 yr old half brother by another guy would mess with him unmercifully. I had him working his butt off picking up trash, bringing tools and sweeping for gum and candy while when his older brother was there for the week as per court orders we would come up with creative places to place his favorite treats that were just out of reach. High up on a cactus plant was the usual place or up on some trellis or something where it was impossible for him to reach or get to with even a ladder. He'd spot it and all hell would break loose. Major tantrums and fake bawling to get his way. His dumbass dad would try to come to the rescue and demand we give him what he wanted but we'd just tell him he'd already had his limit and was just swallowing gum.
One day I pretended I was completely out of gum after I promised to pay him for working and he said simply, "Ok, I don't work." and walked off. Damn, he learned quick.
To get even with his lazy ass do nothing dad for being a petty jerk and not looking after his son all weekend I would let him drink some of my monster. He'd then go into the house and start holy hell for his dad. I'd be outside hearing it and dying from laughter. One day he went in and used his dad's laptop for a mini trampoline. Asked why he said, "I DON'T KNOW!!!". Complete mystery to him.
When I'd leave to walk down to the corner market for food he'd beg to come along which led to all sorts of shenanigans. One day a block away some guys were putting in a sewer line which he took great interest in and wanted to stop and watch. The foreman came over to chat with me while the little rascal got impatient with all the jibber jabber so he looked up at the guy and said, "Stop talking, go work!"
I told his mother he'd grow up to either be an amazing guy doing great things or a very clever criminal with an attitude problem. I'm thinking with crap for parents it's going to be the latter. Too bad.
One time my stoner GF caught the neighbors cat (he came to us, we petted him and gave him some milk) and somehow a green marker got involved (we were shitheads back then, her especially so) and basically the white and black longhair cat became a punk rocker.
No animals were harmed, the cat didnt mind, it was a shit thing to do but mildly amusing.
Thats not the funny part. We lived on 2nd floor and had a view into the backyard of the owners of the cat, who we knew and eventually told later, so we actually got to hear and see the moment when the parents realized that the cat had been markered green. Of course only one person could have possibly done this.... their son.... lol months later we apologized to the kid for the beating he got, still was pretty goddamn hilarious... at that later date he, the parents and likely even the cat, had a great laugh... but on the day it happened, only we were laughing, hard.
Ironically enough, the kid.... dindu nuffin
That's hilarious, except for the part about the kid getting a beating. Good thing you guys didn't have a can of day glo orange marker paint. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind spraying some bright frosting on stray cats around here. Kind of make them stand out better.
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