Bullshit. Tell Seneca I told him so. Happiness is like laughing when you are tickled. You can't tickle yourself and make yourself laugh. Similarly, you cannot be happy by pretending that you are happy. A man may connvince himself that he is in an unhappy situation, which is to say, that his situation is not advantageous. Conversely, he may tell himself that his situation is advantageous, and therefore he has ever reason to be happy. But no man can convince himself to be happy -- he either is, or he is not.
I call bullshit on you calling bullshit.
You can absolutely convince yourself to be happy (or miserable). How one goes about doing it may be different for each person and situation, granted. But the mechanics are the same.
It doesn’t mean that bad things can’t or shouldn’t affect your state of mood. But it does mean that you always have a choice whether or not to dwell on them or let them define you or the direction of your life.
The glass half empty or half full is cliche, but then it’s also true.
I got a divorce two years ago. Objectively, divorce is a bad thing. And it made me sad, yeah. On the other hand, there was plenty of good to come from it and new opportunities. Namely, I’m no longer married to a retarded cunt. Opportunities in that I could then date and find a woman who isn’t a retarded cunt. The divorce sucked, but being married to a retarded cunt for the rest of my life would have sucked worse.
Lots of people remain a wreck after such a failed relationship for literal years or even decades. I was a wreck for a few months, but then - and this is KEY - I decided to move on and regarded my future as bright. Notice I said I DECIDED. It was a DECISION on my part.
I could have gone down the other road very easily. Allowed myself to fall into a depression and feed it with alcohol and pot.
I simply chose differently. I now make more than double the money I was making when I got divorced (I didn’t even make bad money then) and will be married to a much better woman (I basically traded a pinto for a Ferrari) in 4 months.
No, it’s a fucking choice. Don’t get it twisted.
By even proposing that it’s not, you’re essentially saying that stoicism doesn’t even exist and isn’t real. Well, that’s bullshit. Perhaps you lack stoicism. Ok then. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Beyond that, your sort of attitude is also the driving force behind perpetual victim mentality. Which is ironic considering that this site is fairly dedicated to bitching about people who espouse perpetual victim mentality.
I don’t mean any of this to be personal, either. I like you and your posting in general.
I’m simply saying that if I can watch a woman who just lost her husband to cancer the day before stand on the front row at church and praise God, then I won’t stand for someone saying the kind of horseshit you said in your comment. Because it simply ain’t true.
You can choose happiness.
To do this is very simple. Embrace all activities and experiences where you experience happiness. Avoid all experiences you find displeasing. Make this choice as a deliberate effort. Over time, your brain will enhance the neural pathways associated with pleasure, and atrophy the pathways associated with displeasure. Eventually, happiness will become your default state of mind.
Your power is the power to choose.
Tell that to someone on a cancer ward, or going thru a divorce, or sitting in a jail cell
I’ve had a life threatening tumor and a divorce.
With the help of God, I beat all of them.
No, it’s a choice.
Indeed, it applies there most of all.
You should read the works of Epictetus. He will show you.
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