White knuckling Frozen in bed Like the deer and I's staring contest Last I drank in the woods Wires like vines grow over me Smell of onion or vinegar In the parts neglected Even a Marine bath Teeth fuzzy like moss Entropy - waiting for nature to reclaim me In the mysteries of her immortal processes Days spent longing for darkness If this mattress could sail To the eternal comfort of Alaska Waves of memories Some chaos some calm Flood my senses Piecing together What feels like parallel lives As the years catch up to me Guess I always felt old Or wanted to be Still some youthful look Besides a few stray greys The last of us born Before this Sci Fi world I couldn't wait for - Now it scares the hell out of me And what it holds for those who will inherit The things and things to come We take for granted each day Why should jealousy, wrath and envy In this state hold me When I know I've already held myself back I've snowballed into this situation Now to find a place to melt As I've said before I'll climb out of this mess As I always do Smedley Ex Machina You may become my only offspring *Started before rehab