You look funny and your mother doesn't like you...

Your mouth is too wide

you breathe in one of the most corrosive substances known to exist, oxygen, and allow it to attach it to your blood stream and then use that corrosion as energy.

What do you expect?

You are corroding from the inside out

So how would you pay us? That would be an interesting logistical problem.

You suffer from deep seeded insecurities and a lack of ability to properly express the true nature of the demons that lay within you, leading to a vicious cycle of self depreciation that lashes out externally as a force to push away any meaningful contact. As a result of your self feeding loop, you find yourself wondering what the fundamental issue is and break it down into simpler terms like anger or hatred or fury that only graze the surface of the true issue that lies deep within.

Until you can face your inner ID head on and accept the penalties of being a fundamentally bad person pretending to be good, you'll always be forced to ask yourself "wtf is wrong with me?"

Maybe you're just hungry.

Do you need my address so you can send me my money or what?

I think your squinty chink eyes are probably the issue.

All joking aside, what are the symptoms?

Keep the money. You don't trust yourself because you haven't been true to yourself. If you tell yourself your are going to do something, DO IT. If you don't trust yourself to do what you say, you will lack confidence, which is belief in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, how can anyone else?
Make a list of all of the things you want to do, then do them. Keep adding to the list.