If you want to know what's going on, read the first thread in this sub (SBBH) about this. (I couldn't think of anywhere else to put it.) Sit down, kids. Ol' TheBuddha's gonna tell you a pumpkin story. ;-) So, you know all about pumpkin. You know about our merry adventures and how he lived a good life, a happy life, and a brief life. Pumpkins don't live long. If you pick a pumpkin for a friend, you're pretty much certain to entertain a future tragedy. Someone, I don't want to mention names but it was @zyklon_b contacted me with a picture of the exit from 98 to Natchez, Mississippi. That's a route Pumpkin and I took many times. Oh, yes. We took that road all over. By the way, when you cross into Mississippi, there's a visiting station. They talk all about an endangered foul species - and then they have a stuffed one right below it. I'm pretty sure they just killed an endangered species just to have one done in taxidermy and placed into a glass case. Why do I think that? 'Cause they also had a fucking Braille sign ABOVE the restroom door. In other words, like 7' in the air, they had a sign saying "Mens" - in Braille. It was right next to the one in English. Seriously... I shit you not. I bet it's still there. Now, I love Mississippi. I really do. I lost a hat there, but that's not important. (I'm pretty sure that Pumpkin got drunk and threw it out the window while I was passed out.) It was on the Grand Pumpkin Adventure when I went to Natchez. Pumpkin, still very much in his prime, was in his glory. Alright, you gotta picture this... Natches is awesome. There's a museum dedicated to the blues. That's REALLY what they mean when they say the Mississippi Delta. Don't let them try to fool you. The Delta is way up in Natchez. I fucking know - it's on the sign. There's also a bitchin' blues museum there and, if you're special, you might just be allowed to play around a little. Still, you can learn a lot. The visitor's center has free coffee and donuts. Don't eat or drink them. Lesson learned - as you'll see. First, shitfaced, we parked downtown. We parked on a hill - this would later be important. I put pumpkin in my pocket and decided that we'd find some food. We'd already eaten donuts and drank coffee. We were also loaded to the gills with a variety of stimulants and fortified our breakfast with booze. (I was on a rum, straight, kick - as I recall.) First, we tried some fancy place. It looked fancy, at any rate. I put pumpkin on the table, on the opposite side, and the lady looked at me as if I'd lost my damned mind. I then asked her if they served anything fresh from the Mississippi River. I mean, fuck... It's right there - I was just poking it with a stick. The lady looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. She said, "You don't want to eat a fish out of that river." I informed her that I absolutely did want to eat something from that river, and I'd like it fresh. A few more exchanges showed both pumpkin and I that she was unwilling to budge on the issue. We all sort of agreed that it was best if I sought service elsewhere. I'm not easily sidetracked. I tried again - only this time, I looked for the dingiest place I could find. I mean, fuck... I'm gonna guess they're willing to serve me something from the river. I was wrong. Oh, was I wrong. Pumpkin would later taunt me. I deserved it. What I actually ended up in was this giant fucking delightful all-you-can-eat buffet for locals. Holy balls. The food was awesome. That's important. Remember, the food was fucking awesome. See, what greeted me was a big black woman whom I'd later decide I wanted to sleep with. (This did not happen, but I'd decided she was wonderful.) She was probably like 35 years old and three times my size. I don't even like big women, but for some reason I was pretty sure she could break me in bed - and I'd like it. She said, "Whatcho doing?" Me, knowing the regular vernacular of the Common Mississippian, said, "Fittin' to eat." She smiled and that's when she noticed Pumpkin, as I was digging him out of my pocket. She said, "Both of you?" I said yes, both of us. She said, "Don't gimme any shit and I'm charging you for the gourd. Now sit your ass down over there." There was no question of authority in her voice. This woman was obviously in charge. I was enamored with her pretty quickly, and she was having none of it. When asked if they served anything fresh from the Mississippi River, she told me if it was in the buffet they had it. Had I been a stronger man, I would have left and continued my quest. Alas, she was big, mean, and was bossy. Trust me, we were in no shape to tell ourselves what to do. That's something a good user/drinker learns. They learn that it's sometimes better to just let someone else take responsibility. She was the boss. And ate, we did. Oh, we ate like kings. I got pumpkin a plate and we went through that buffet like Mexican ceiling meat goes through an American tourist. We were well sated. In fact, I'd already unbuckled my top button on my pants and Pumpkin had to loosen his bandanna. Which was when the lady came back up to me and said, "What kinda pie are you both having?" There was no question. We were having pie. We'd literally just gorged ourselves like animals and now this crazy, angry, in charge, giant, bossy black lady was not done tormenting us and refuting my advances. I had pumpkin which, in hindsight, was poor taste. He had banana creme pie. I was expecting two small pieces. I asked if they had doggie bags. She told me they didn't. She also said, "Finish your pie." Holy balls... I ate BOTH pies - though I'm going to claim pumpkin ate one. (Pumpkins don't really eat, I don't think.) She brings me a bill that's remarkably cheap - all things considered. I left my cell phone number and a big tip. My beloved black waitress never called. I stayed in the area and she never called. Granted, I was then onto other things. Anyhow, that's just two hours of time spent with pumpkin. He was a great companion! ----- (I wrote some background in my first post.) Some folks 'em. I figure I'll share. They're mostly, between the lines, true. I did indeed have a purloined pumpkin and we did go on merry adventures. He was great company. He didn't really talk, sing, or eat. I'm pretty sure he was stealin' my drugs and alcohol while I was sleeping. Lots of times I woke up with some missing and I knew I couldn't remember using them. So, that means it was Pumpkin! Like I said, they're more or less true - albeit with a colorful twist.