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I guess my life long quest to look for the good was perhaps a consequence of not finding good in my childhood. Everything felt disjointed and disconnected then (less so) and it feels the same way now (more so).

Even the people still left close to me I have trouble talking with and being with anyone if the are not connected to what I consider the real world. We are not in a good place (USA). We are on a precipice of disaster and everyone is frozen like a deer in the headlights including me.

Fuck I feel hopeless and depressed. They could come kill us at any moment and I still bet no one would do shit.

I guess my life long quest to look for the good was perhaps a consequence of not finding good in my childhood. Everything felt disjointed and disconnected then (less so) and it feels the same way now (more so). Even the people still left close to me I have trouble talking with and being with anyone if the are not connected to what I consider the real world. We are not in a good place (USA). We are on a precipice of disaster and everyone is frozen like a deer in the headlights including me. Fuck I feel hopeless and depressed. They could come kill us at any moment and I still bet no one would do shit.

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[–] • 0 pt (edited )

no. you are just growing up. everyone dies individually in this world - with or without friends, family, or close ones (some retards consider their pets as close ones) - including the couples that believe their spouse was their only connection to this world.

do you want to risk your life protecting anyone today? no? ok then go fuck off back to your bed and sleep this little conundrum off until some other day; worrying that no one will protect you in your time of need is defeatist faggotry.

you either step up and help, or you don’t; your lifelong search for good is in vain because you aren’t contributing to good - it seems like you just except it like someone that has never had children.