I'm building some floating shelves and needed a 3/8" wood auger bit. I bought one, got my new jig out, and tried to slide the 3/8" bit into the 3/8" bushing. Doesn't fit. I scratch my head, double-check that I grabbed the correct bushing, and try again. You'd think I was trying to cram it in sideways - it isn't even close to fitting. I look at the package to ensure I bought the correct bit. It says 3/8". I look at the bit, assuming some minimum wage factory worker put the wrong bit in the carton. The bit itself says 3/8". Now I'm wondering if Factory Retard sent me the wrong bushings. I dig around in my garage and pull out some other 3/8" bits. Not wood auger bits so they won't work for this project, but at least I can sanity check my sizing. They all slide right into my 3/8" bushing without an issue.
Now I'm aggravated. The manufacturer took the time to label them as 3/8, and the time to engrave 3/8" onto the bit so you know what size they are, but not the time to MEASURE if they were actually 3/8". I pull up the reviews and they're all wonderful...except for one person buried several pages deep pointing out that this manufacturer's 3/8" bits are not, in fact 3/8, because who the fuck needs quality control? Great, so it's not just a one-off screwup, it's an entire company who're math-avoidant after marrying their cousin for 12 generations. And for added fun, now I know everyone singing their praises for the first few pages can't measure either. Biden must have been talking about those contractors when he started rambling about incest at the latest debate, because how the hell do you work in the trades and not notice your drill bits are wildly out of spec.
Back to the hardware store I go to return this garbage. My eyes are assaulted by the hamplanet staffing the returns counter. She can't figure out how to return a drill bit and has to get help. I suspect she may be related to someone in the drill bit manufacturing industry. She finally figures out how to return a mother trucking drill bit that hasn't even been used.
Oh well, I'll just go buy a bit from another manufacturer. IDGAF if it's twice the price, I just want to build shelves today. I make my way to the drill bit aisle. Oh, you want a DIFFERENT manufacturer who shares the same understanding of math as you? Best I can do is an entire wall of the same darn company. Joke's on you, we don't stock anybody else.
I reassure myself that there are other hardware stores and pull out my phone to see if they have drill bits in stock. Cool, they've all included a handy "in stock for pickup today" filter. Hey, cool, one of them has what I need in stock for pickup today. Wait. Why. The. Flying. Flapjacks. does it say "Available for pickup today...by July 10th?" It's July 5th, are we in the Twilight zone where next week is today?
I contact the store to inquire what their major malfunction is. Turns out it's not in stock and they'd have to ship it in. "In stock for pickup today"? That's "just a suggestion". I resist the urge to "suggest" they look beyond family reunions for dating prospects.
I give up on hardware stores and go home. I guess I'll order this from Amazon, because at least our megacorp overlords know what 3/8" is.
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