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What's the damn point if the first bite makes everything slip out of place? A burger should fit inside your mouth

What's the damn point if the first bite makes everything slip out of place? A burger should fit inside your mouth

(post is archived)

[–] • 5 pts

Like to make smash burgers. Pan fried in lard if it's too lean, of let it sweat it's own fat out, like 80/20 does. Piece of wax paper in between the spatula is a game changer. Burger stays down easier. Cooks all the way thru, tho. Prefer to use ground chuck and sirloin if I can. Dress it up however you want. Nice small burgers. Small cube and fry a tater on the side (with or without onions, up to you) and I'm fed. Hope you try it sometime.

[–] • 1 pt

Will do! Spread your gospel on /s/cooking or /s/food with its own post?

[–] • 1 pt

If I see this tommorow, sure. I'm off for the night, probably, lol. Have a good night, brother

[–] • 4 pts

Get two toothpicks or chopsticks and impale your burger with them about 1/3"-to-1/4" from edge of bun. Cut burger inbetween the impromptu piles and into halves. Start eating each half at a corner and always take bites from a pointy part. This is how I do it.

[–] • 2 pts

interesting tactic

[–] • 1 pt

It generally works. Try to go through the bottom bun. It does not work as well otherwise.

[–] • 2 pts

Lol! I'm hooked on Dairy Queen's #6 Deluxe, just the burger. 3 patties (1/2lb ground beef before cooking), lettuce, mayo, tomato, thick sliced onion, pickles, 2 kinds of sliced cheese. Stands over 3" tall. $6.31 with state tax and 10% senior discount applied. A meal in itself. The best part is that it tastes like a real hamburger. And yes, messy to eat. Don't forget to ask for extra napkins.

[–] • 1 pt

And it fits in your mouth! Great deal indeed.

[–] • 1 pt

No, can't open my mouth wide enough to do a top down bite, lol! I have to take a bite from the edge of lower half first, then I can get at the upper half on the 2nd bite. Repeat until the burger is nearly gone, you might get the last piece in one bite.

[–] • 2 pts

Man when you said "just the burger" I imagined it bunless lol

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

When I go to a restaurant, if they serve me a tall burger, I send it back. I didn't order a burger to eat it with a fork and knife, or to wear the burger. It's a sign the chef doesn't like you. They could have poisoned the burger. Tall burgers are a warning sign that you should leave the area immediately.

[–] • 1 pt

That's when I reach for a fork and knife

[–] • 1 pt

Compress the burger to a more manageable size.

[–] • 0 pt

Yeah that is a legitimate tactic but some of these frakkin' burgers are incompressible!

[–] • 1 pt

I keep my burgers simple. Swiss and honey mustard only. And if its over half and inch thick, I usually will avoid eating. I hate those burgers that are thick, I hate that. I'd prefer them thin as hell if I have the choice.

[–] • 1 pt

Fatasses.

[–] • 0 pt

Fat is somewhat an underestimated nutrient. However if one eats lots of carbs and fats, the fats wont be "burned" and will obviously stay. The keto diet is an interesting example of this.

[–] • 0 pt

Only a fatass thinks you can never enjoy a burger without being a fatass

[–] • 1 pt

I love cheeseburgers. I jokingly tell everyone that my life's goal is to find the perfect burger. Everywhere I travel to I go out of my way to eat local burgers. When I go to a steak house I usually order a burger. That being said, I 100% agree. There's a balance between the meat, toppings and bun that must be had. If it's too thick you might as well have had a slice of meatloaf.