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I have a rare congenital terminal lung condition, not caused by smoking. i can't even go to bed anymore without going tachycardic, and even the most basic shit imaginable has become a chore in and of itself. according to my doctor, there is no cure, and at best, they can only guess what it is or is not going to do. since the fev1 number is well into very severe (25 - 30%) territory, my prognosis is close to shit at this point.

and yet, nothing makes me happy anymore. i'm just tumbling around waiting for my day to come, and i have no happiness anymore in anything i do. i don't want to subscribe to the lifestyle bullshit of today, i still have standards, so i feel like i'm completely lost. i've been doing some estate planning and getting to know god. and even then, i'm not even doing this for myself, so much as for others. just feels sad

I have a rare congenital terminal lung condition, not caused by smoking. i can't even go to bed anymore without going tachycardic, and even the most basic shit imaginable has become a chore in and of itself. according to my doctor, there is no cure, and at best, they can only guess what it is or is not going to do. since the fev1 number is well into very severe (25 - 30%) territory, my prognosis is close to shit at this point. and yet, nothing makes me happy anymore. i'm just tumbling around waiting for my day to come, and i have no happiness anymore in anything i do. i don't want to subscribe to the lifestyle bullshit of today, i still have standards, so i feel like i'm completely lost. i've been doing some estate planning and getting to know god. and even then, i'm not even doing this for myself, so much as for others. just feels sad

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[–] • 1 pt

Take some time to revisit some things that made you happy in the past. (movies, puzzles, reading, history, bible, etc)

I like to watch older movies that I liked and usually that might spark some motivation to go do something that you enjoy. Usually keeping your living area clean will keep your mind clear and you'll be more motivated to do something enjoyable without worrying about other shit. You sound like you're overwhelmed with your current situation.

As for your health, I'd recommend you do your best to keep your spirits up and stay as healthy as you can with diet and any activity. Even if it's not physical based on your condition, like playing chess or learning how to fix shit. I guarantee if I walk into your house I could find 10 things right away for you do.

Stay alive my brother. We need you.