Realize he’s not a girl. Wrestle with him. Do physical things with him -sport, yardwork, labor. He’ll want to help when he’s little -praise him for it, don’t keep him away to “keep him safe” or because he’s inconvenient.
By the time he’s like eight, he’ll be done with “helping”. Then they’re chores. Teach him responsibility by insisting the work gets done first, and then reward him by protecting his free time. Don’t let his mother bother him with endless tasks that eat up all his recreation, have her save them up so they all get done at once. This requires both a spine and a good relationship with his mother. Keep him in physical activity. Don’t force him to do YOUR favorite sport/physical thing, let him pick what he does, but force him to stick with whatever he picks.
Don’t insist that he be the best, but insist that he work the hardest. Grades? are irrelevant except as a reflection of effort, and you are his judge. If he fails despite his efforts, reward his efforts and give him the encouragement to pick himself back up to try again. But if he fails from lack of effort, punish his lack of effort.
Insist he learn a useful or marketable skill. Don’t pick one for him, let him pick, but insist that he picks one. Computer repair, carpentry, auto mechanics, landscaping, concrete or masonry, welding… whatever, the skill doesn’t matter, the personal development that comes from the pursuit of mastery is what matters. The fact that he will always have a backup trade he can fall back on no matter what profession he pursues, also matters.
Teach him to defend himself. If you don’t know how, you ought to fix that, but at least send him to someone who does. The character development that comes from knowing you have become competent at violence, and the discipline and responsibility that comes from not exercising that skill inappropriately, is important.
This is getting long, but fuck it. This is important and I got shit to say.
https://centipedenation.com/second-column/solid-dad-advice-from-anon/
Realize he’s not a girl. Wrestle with him. Do physical things with him -sport, yardwork, labor. He’ll want to help when he’s little -praise him for it, don’t keep him away to “keep him safe” or because he’s inconvenient.
By the time he’s like eight, he’ll be done with “helping”. Then they’re chores. Teach him responsibility by insisting the work gets done first, and then reward him by protecting his free time. Don’t let his mother bother him with endless tasks that eat up all his recreation, have her save them up so they all get done at once. This requires both a spine and a good relationship with his mother. Keep him in physical activity. Don’t force him to do YOUR favorite sport/physical thing, let him pick what he does, but force him to stick with whatever he picks.
Don’t insist that he be the best, but insist that he work the hardest. Grades? are irrelevant except as a reflection of effort, and you are his judge. If he fails despite his efforts, reward his efforts and give him the encouragement to pick himself back up to try again. But if he fails from lack of effort, punish his lack of effort.
Insist he learn a useful or marketable skill. Don’t pick one for him, let him pick, but insist that he picks one. Computer repair, carpentry, auto mechanics, landscaping, concrete or masonry, welding… whatever, the skill doesn’t matter, the personal development that comes from the pursuit of mastery is what matters. The fact that he will always have a backup trade he can fall back on no matter what profession he pursues, also matters.
Teach him to defend himself. If you don’t know how, you ought to fix that, but at least send him to someone who does. The character development that comes from knowing you have become competent at violence, and the discipline and responsibility that comes from not exercising that skill inappropriately, is important.
This is getting long, but fuck it. This is important and I got shit to say.
https://centipedenation.com/second-column/solid-dad-advice-from-anon/
(post is archived)