Growing up being abused early on, I do have issues. I get a racing heart and anxious with any confrontation. So, needing to shop at Walmart to get some basics I was told to wear a mask and they were quite rude to me. I got agitated and pulled my t shirt over my nose. Then in a sort of defiance I made a "mask" from an old rag and a shoe string. It didn't help. I was constantly breathing in stale air, got anxious and couldn't really shop without my heart racing. About the third time this happened and I had to leave without getting what I wanted I went back and sat in my van totally exhausted emotionally and rested until my breathing returned to normal and I calmed down. Still I was depressed. If I even think there's going to be a confrontation over masks and I have to visit some establishment I procrastinate as long as possible while I get more and more depressed and anxious.
But, those first few days when I wore my homemade rag "mask" and had to retreat to my vehicle to rest I one day had an abrupt long forgotten memory. At four years old my six year old brother found my father's sword he used to decapitate chickens. He forced me to march around with the sword pointed at me. Then he stood atop my father's boat and ordered me to stand below while he urinated on me. Each time I would run off crying and he'd jump down, march me back at sword point and order me to stand there. Whole time I was crying in terror. Then he did the unthinkable. He ordered me to lay down on the dirt and sat on top of me. He said he was going to kill me and proceeded to smother my nose and mouth with his hands. I fought back in terror as best a four year old can. This went on for some time with my five year old sister watching from the side. When my brother finally got tired of fighting me to smother me he ordered my sister to take over while he supervised. Fortunately she deliberately left a crack in her fingers for me to breath and got quiet. I realized what she was doing and lay still and slowly breathed through her fingers. My brother finally tired of this "game" and let me up. Wow. Just retelling this makes my heart feel heavy. Same as being told to wear a mask makes me anxious and ready to fight. After I realized why it made me so anxious I resolved to never let anyone order me to wear a mask for any reason.
I will make an exception for the 3M mask that comes with detachable filters and valves because we only wear them when the air is toxic and they are amazing. With them you get clean odor free air free of heavy metals which occur when doing welding in confined spaces.
I wish you only the best Patriot, and as long as it is your choice and decision, that is what is important.
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