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https://cnsnews.com/article/washington/michael-w-chapman/federal-grant-69-million-develop-smart-toilet-identifies-your "The toilet would use fingerprint technology and a photo of the user’s nether regions to identify the user, and the toilet’s in-bowl video camera would track various metrics, including the time between sitting and first bowel movement, and other metrics relevant to bowel health."

With all the corona virus found in sewage, I can see how Congress would want to get up into our asses to see if it's safe to let us out of our own house. https://www.foxnews.com/science/coronavirus-concentrations-sewage-leading-indicator-covid-19-outbreaks

https://cnsnews.com/article/washington/michael-w-chapman/federal-grant-69-million-develop-smart-toilet-identifies-your "The toilet would use fingerprint technology and a photo of the user’s nether regions to identify the user, and the toilet’s in-bowl video camera would track various metrics, including the time between sitting and first bowel movement, and other metrics relevant to bowel health." With all the corona virus found in sewage, I can see how Congress would want to get up into our asses to see if it's safe to let us out of our own house. https://www.foxnews.com/science/coronavirus-concentrations-sewage-leading-indicator-covid-19-outbreaks

(post is archived)

[–] • 6 pts

Taking shitposting to the next level

[–] • 2 pts

It's to squeeze more from employees who take fake shit breaks.

[–] • 1 pt

Yes, the reporting on time it takes from sitting to pinching out the poop can be used against employees, and soon they'll be able to also calculate how much toilet paper is used and match that to the analprint.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Why were you gone from your desk so long?

I had to use the bathroom.

Actually, we have the footage and no, you didn't.

lol

[–] • 0 pt

The guys in booking are not gonna like this

[–] • 0 pt

So much angst over how much the relief check to each citizen to give, and at the same time don't give a shit and don't even question to spend money on sticking a camera in a toilet bowl to capture the timing of pooping

[–] • 0 pt

Triple safeguard technology with patented 'sphincter-scan' 'taint-tech+' & A non-gender specific scrotal/labial 'wrinkle-reader' Piss in peace Shit with security

[–] • 0 pt

There is a section on babylon bee of satire that became true.

There was a satire video of a pedo that invented a toilet camera and he totally didn't do it to look at naked children.

And now....here we are.