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The Amish server consists of an IBM 386 clone with 640Kb Ram, 20MB HDD and a state of the art 14.4K internal Data/Fax Modem. The system is operated from a secret underground installation cleverly hidden beneath a Pennsylvanian corn field.

Power is supplied to the facility by a twelve sturdy plow horses, each taking it's shift pulling a black two seat, sport model convertible buggy equipped with three revolutionary Nikola Tesla inspired alternating current (AC) dynamic generators which are actuated by the four spinning buggy wheels providing a combined 120V/60 cycle alternating current output. Amperage is classified and voltage may vary between 110 and 120Vac depending on many factors to include the age and physical fitness of the buggy horse and unforeseen weather conditions which on rare occasions may result in a condition known as 'shorting', a known vulnerability with dynamic AC generator operations.

Poal may experience short periods of down time, most notably during buggy horse shift change and more rarely, when modem operations are temporarily disrupted by admins wives using the phone. Future upgrades may resolve some of these minor issues. We are not at liberty to speculate on those future upgrades at this time, though an upgrade to an IBM 80486 processor is being negotiated. A 28.8K internal Data/Fax Modem upgrade is also under consideration, as well additional RAM may be added assuming the future 486 motherboard permits such modifications.

Edit: This is a theory ... I may be a little off.

The Amish server consists of an IBM 386 clone with 640Kb Ram, 20MB HDD and a state of the art 14.4K internal Data/Fax Modem. The system is operated from a secret underground installation cleverly hidden beneath a Pennsylvanian corn field. Power is supplied to the facility by a twelve sturdy plow horses, each taking it's shift pulling a black two seat, sport model convertible buggy equipped with three revolutionary Nikola Tesla inspired alternating current (AC) dynamic generators which are actuated by the four spinning buggy wheels providing a combined 120V/60 cycle alternating current output. Amperage is classified and voltage may vary between 110 and 120Vac depending on many factors to include the age and physical fitness of the buggy horse and unforeseen weather conditions which on rare occasions may result in a condition known as 'shorting', a known vulnerability with dynamic AC generator operations. Poal may experience short periods of down time, most notably during buggy horse shift change and more rarely, when modem operations are temporarily disrupted by admins wives using the phone. Future upgrades may resolve some of these minor issues. We are not at liberty to speculate on those future upgrades at this time, though an upgrade to an IBM 80486 processor is being negotiated. A 28.8K internal Data/Fax Modem upgrade is also under consideration, as well additional RAM may be added assuming the future 486 motherboard permits such modifications. Edit: This is a theory ... I may be a little off.

(post is archived)

[–] 1 pt

Yes you know too much. I guess we will just have to bring you in... One of us one of us

[–] 0 pt

Beware, though old, I am a highly armed veteran of the cold war. The Amish mafia doesn't scare me ... rattlin' snales, now rattlin' snakes scare me.

[–] 1 pt

Nope you know too much you are officially one of us now, we implanted you just a few minutes go.

[–] 0 pt

Holy crap ... you guys discovered silicon chip technology!

You're way more advanced than even I envisioned!