maybe I wouldn't be suspicious if I ate a couple of soy whoppers. or a baby.

You have to do both and then make a rap video about it, dear.

Anyone on this site is suspicious, but I think they tag everyone in this particular subverse.

Do nothing but go to work, shop for food and watch TV.

Look around and check everything around you when you're about to enter a door. No one notices that.

Nothing. Do nothing here and you will never receive the suspicious behavior tag.

Always be suspicious and question everything