Currently I have a pretty good job. I work half the year. Decent pay. It’s alright. And the job itself it’s ok. As in I don’t hate hate work. Sometimes I look forward to it. Sometimes I can come in and get paid to watch fights or movies or something. Laid back environment. It’s great. Well i interviewed for a position that’s the same schedule. Shift work. Half the year. 7 on 7 off. Same kind of work and people. Bounces nights to days. Except this position right off the bat my pay will go up by a factor of 4 or 5. So yea. Great company to work for. My interview was me and 3 higher ups. Them asking me questions. I’m freaking out about it because it’s so hard to tell how I did. I know I didn’t do bad. Idk if I did great either though. You know where I work I’m amazing. I’m exceptional and the people I work with know that. I’m not worried about will I be good at the job. I know I will, sure as the sun will come up tomorrow. I’m just not a talker. You know. So….I’m so stressed out I can’t stop thinking about it. Replaying maybe I should have said this or that. I thought once I got the interview over with it would lower my stress and in a way it did but now I’m just thinking what if’s. I’ll find out by December 15 if I got it.

Plus the jobs so similar except this place is hard to get on. There’s a lot of people that want this job. A lot of competition. Better quality people. Which is another reason I wanted to get on here so badly. I’m a better quality person and quite frankly I’m tired of working with some of the sorry motherfuckers at my current position. You know I feel like I got my job in the shittiest version of my life. Some of the people I work with, this is their peak. I’m better than them. If I don’t get this job it’s becauze of the interview. It would kill me, knowing who I am, the kind of person I am, the kind of effort I bring. Ultimately it all comes down to talking. If the kind of person I am isn’t enough I don’t know what is. It would break my spirit I think.