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Called out of work yesterday. Fucked up and drank.

Went into work still drunk today.

Start doing my job.

It is no exaggeration to say I am absolutely murdering it today. I have never been better at my job.

My boss pulled me aside, and Instead of reprimanding me for calling out yesterday, he commended me for my performance this morning.

This is so fucked up. Alcohol is my performance enhancing drug. I won't know for a few months, but I've probably made a lot of money today.

This is so fucked up.

Called out of work yesterday. Fucked up and drank. Went into work still drunk today. Start doing my job. It is no exaggeration to say I am absolutely murdering it today. I have never been better at my job. My boss pulled me aside, and Instead of reprimanding me for calling out yesterday, he commended me for my performance this morning. This is so fucked up. Alcohol is my performance enhancing drug. I won't know for a few months, but I've probably made a lot of money today. This is so fucked up.

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The job is 100% verbal. Liquor increases my communications powers to an insane degree. Yeah, I can do the job sober, and I have done the job sober for the entire time I have had it. Today was the first time I went in drunk.

I cannot stress enough how insanely well I performed. The people I have to call... They don't want to be called. They hide behind gatekeepers. They don't want to talk. They definitely don't want to talk to me.

But today, today they all wanted to talk to me. Today the gatekeepers gave me the personal cellphone number of the people I am trying to reach. Today they all wanted to buy the shit I sell. My average call length was quadrupled from what it normally is. Even the Germans wanted to talk. They never want to fucking talk.