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178

at least for a while. took a new job doing industrial maintenance on graveyard. i like it so far. drank the past couple mornings after work because i craved it.

heres the thing that sucks. im classical manic depressive. one beer, one fucking drink, tweeks my mood in a bad way. its insidious. i get short and irritatable for days afterwards. hard to explain unless youre so called mental.

my old solution is just to drink heavily. weirdly, i can drink one or 12, i feel the same. hell, sometimes i feel better hungover because the noise finally stops.

i did quit for about 6months a year or two ago. you know what? nothing changed. my life didn't get better. everything was the same, i just had more unused time to kill.

i just don't want to do it anymore. or, more accurately, i do want to do it. i just dont want to pay the cost of being an irtitable bastard for days afterward. i dont want to deal with the stigma. its bad enough to be nuts let alone everyone think you're an alcoholic.

so, no promises. just gotta figure something out cause this aint workin.

at least for a while. took a new job doing industrial maintenance on graveyard. i like it so far. drank the past couple mornings after work because i craved it. heres the thing that sucks. im classical manic depressive. one beer, one fucking drink, tweeks my mood in a bad way. its insidious. i get short and irritatable for days afterwards. hard to explain unless youre so called mental. my old solution is just to drink heavily. weirdly, i can drink one or 12, i feel the same. hell, sometimes i feel better hungover because the noise finally stops. i did quit for about 6months a year or two ago. you know what? nothing changed. my life didn't get better. everything was the same, i just had more unused time to kill. i just don't want to do it anymore. or, more accurately, i do want to do it. i just dont want to pay the cost of being an irtitable bastard for days afterward. i dont want to deal with the stigma. its bad enough to be nuts let alone everyone think you're an alcoholic. so, no promises. just gotta figure something out cause this aint workin.

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[–] • 3 pts

You said it: I just had more unused time to kill.

I'm dealing with a family member in this situation, they drink because it's entertainment. They have no interests, therefore drinking becomes the entertainment. They went to AA and I realized that AA becomes the entertainment or purpose for them. Certainly better than having no purpose. People need a purpose.

Good luck.