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Relapse

One of the girls I went to rehab with didn't text me this week.

It's not like we were having particularly deep text conversations. She would just send me positive messages, like a "good morning", and "I hope your having a beautiful day".

I never reply on time, but I always made sure to text her back later in the day, maybe give her a call to have an actual conversation. It is nice keeping in touch with rehab people and true alcoholics. They have a deeper understanding of the situation.

Last week she told me she almost drank. Found some vodka she forgot about in one of her old hiding spaces, while cleaning some stuff up. Put the bottle to her lips when her husband walked in. He stopped her, and she went to a meeting.

She has been having a rough go of it. Hard time finding a job in her field. Not too much to do without work. A nigger crept on her in her favorite AA meeting, and she was uncomfortable going back to that one for awhile after.

But she didn't text me this week. Made me kinda suspicious, so I texted her, which is something that I don't really do.

No response.

Called her.

No response.

She called me last night. Week long relapse. Zero to 60 in no time flat. Told her husband she was going to leave him. Even got so far as packing up her cats while she was blackout drunk.

Her husband got her under control eventually, but ya hate to see that waiting for you, knowing it is all so close, just one drink away

One of the girls I went to rehab with didn't text me this week. It's not like we were having particularly deep text conversations. She would just send me positive messages, like a "good morning", and "I hope your having a beautiful day". I never reply on time, but I always made sure to text her back later in the day, maybe give her a call to have an actual conversation. It is nice keeping in touch with rehab people and true alcoholics. They have a deeper understanding of the situation. Last week she told me she almost drank. Found some vodka she forgot about in one of her old hiding spaces, while cleaning some stuff up. Put the bottle to her lips when her husband walked in. He stopped her, and she went to a meeting. She has been having a rough go of it. Hard time finding a job in her field. Not too much to do without work. A nigger crept on her in her favorite AA meeting, and she was uncomfortable going back to that one for awhile after. But she didn't text me this week. Made me kinda suspicious, so I texted her, which is something that I don't really do. No response. Called her. No response. She called me last night. Week long relapse. Zero to 60 in no time flat. Told her husband she was going to leave him. Even got so far as packing up her cats while she was blackout drunk. Her husband got her under control eventually, but ya hate to see that waiting for you, knowing it is all so close, just one drink away

(post is archived)

[–] • 4 pts

Sucks, man; realizing that it turns into that. I tried so damned many ways of "modifying" my drinking to try to keep it in my life, but after a point you just have to accept that it wants to kill you and destroy everything around you. I'm not a binger, but it slowly takes over my life and before long I'd be drunk all the time again if I were to pick up.

Without a real spiritual/emotional change, it's hard (if not impossible) to stop obsessing about it and craving it. Plenty of people can white knuckle their way through long stretches of time, but actually doing the steps can fundamentally change the way you look at it (and life). Most of it seems pointless and ridiculous from the outside, but in my experience, it definitely can work.

Side note - I absolutely agree with you about talking with other actual alcoholics. That particular phenomenon is probably why so much of the program is centered around working with others.

[–] • 4 pts

Those who strive to be better men are in fact and deed better men. I'm falling down a bit lately myself and need to get my shit together.

[–] • 2 pts

No, fall down further

[–] • 1 pt

well that's just mean and I decline your offer to fall further.

[–] • 1 pt

If you don't hit rock bottom than you're just stuck middling along in a purgatory of "my problem isn't that bad" and "i think I'm gonna stop drinking so much"

[–] • 2 pts

I hope for you. Please do not let her failure become yours. I have prayed for you.

[–] • 2 pts (edited )

They have a deeper understanding of the situation.

I generally stay far away from these threads for this very reason. I have ZERO comprehension of this. I have never had an addictive personality and I don't drink. I screwed around with Coke about 30 yrs back for about 8 months got sick of it and just walked away but I HAVE had to deal with this issue close up. I have a family that kept and still keeps RJ Reynolds tobacco in business, In addition a lot of them are heavy duty alcoholics. Some highly functional some not. I have a friend who has absolutely destroyed his life, his health and his finances over it. I had a mother who had EVERY major addiction you could name SAVE alcohol. WHY she left that on the table I will never know. I guess I never realized that outside my OWN circle how many people have to struggle with this.

I guess I shouldn't BE surprised given the way the fuckin world is. Having to deal with all the shit in the world daily its a wonder we don't all join hands and walk off a cliff.

Told her husband she was going to leave him. Even got so far as packing up her cats while she was blackout drunk.

THIS makes me especially sad not only for your friend but for the innocent animals that end up in the middle of shit like this and find themselves homeless or abused or worse because of this behavior. I also can't even begin to imagine what her husband goes through trying to keep her and everything ELSE together. Poor bastard probably feels like sticking his face in a fan most days.

If I have anything encouraging to say it would be this. ANY day you can wake up, put food on the table, a roof over your head and clothes on your back consider that a HUGE victory because at this point in the world they are doing their level best to make all that either impossible or so difficult that you crack up. As someone who has spent 60 years having to lower expectations and learn to be grateful for small things that is the best I can add. All of you dealing with not only this but life in general (which really just isnt fun anymore on most levels) I wish you all the best. We are all slamming our heads against the wall to one degree or another and it sucks in a major key.

[–] • 2 pts

' Found some vodka she forgot about in one of her old hiding spaces, while cleaning some stuff up. Put the bottle to her lips when her husband walked in'

Hope it wasn't a case of 'Went searching the house for booze'.

It's such a common occurrence - Forgotten stashes - such an underrated thing many forget to do a thorough clean out when arriving home from rehab or have family/ friends do it while they're there, to prevent 'oh look what i just found'.

It is what it is, but may she and everyone else be successful in the endevours and prosper.

[–] • 2 pts

Why bother talking to a married woman who is an alcoholic? Seems like excess baggage that is unneeded if you're struggling yourself.

[–] • 0 pt

Because I went to rehab with her, and alcoholics need to talk to other alcoholics because normal people truly do not understand.

[–] • 1 pt

That's a slippery slope.

[–] • 0 pt

How

[–] • 1 pt

You can do it Theo..There is nothing better in life than conquering that which would conquer you. Be a warrior.

Spelling is not my strong point, but hope you overlook that and understand the message. Been there

[–] • 1 pt

Relapse is the hardest part, and it can kill you quickly if you fall. The addiction remains far longer than your tolerance. When you start drinking again you want to enjoy it the way you used to but you can't. Your body after detox/rehab cannot process alcohol the way it did when you were drinking daily, but it will feel like you can.

[–] • 1 pt

Theo, fuck 12 steps. The only step you need to focus on now is not drinking. Let the rest fall into place later. All you have to do is follow through now. You've already quit, keep it that way. I'll say a quick prayer for you, brother. You take care of yourself.