Not going to lie my depression is getting to me. I really want to get blackout drunk to not feel.

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I don't want to get into it, but my life for the last 20 years is now gone. My only choices are to be destroyed or rise above. However when all I see is sadness and pain ahead of me. It's getting hard to keep it up.

Going to the gym. Might as well leave a good looking corpse ha!

Alcohol, or my 9mm both looked pretty tasty last night. I didn't do either. However being sober really sucks some times. I've been trying to lose myself working out, even helping others. I just feel like I'm faking happiness at this point. I don't want to get into it, but my life for the last 20 years is now gone. My only choices are to be destroyed or rise above. However when all I see is sadness and pain ahead of me. It's getting hard to keep it up. Going to the gym. Might as well leave a good looking corpse ha!

[–] • 6 pts

Hang in there, God is bigger than your troubles...look to him for strength and you will rise above everything that comes against you.

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[–] • 4 pts

Yea Im an Agnostic pretty much so, yay I have no one...

I tried taking my family to church on Easter a couple of years ago. First thing was them shilling for donations for niggers in Africa. So yea never went back.

parent
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[–] • 2 pts

"Yea Im an Agnostic pretty much so, yay I have no one...

There are support groups out there for atheists and agnostics. Talking through your depression with someone who understands it can help.

parent
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[–] • 2 pts

The church and God are seperated on this earth. Having a relationship with him is personal...work on that and you will see He is the only one that matters. The temple of God is in you. No building, no pastor, no other people can give or remove his love from his temple. Be the temple and stand strong.

parent
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[–] • 1 pt

Agnostic is simply not understanding whether there is a God or not. But from a purely logical standpoint, God is indisputable fact. Order does not just come from chaos without an outside force working on it. Time is the the enemy of order, not its friend.

Church sucks. I like to have a personal relationship with God.

I grew up with agnostic parents. They sent me to a Baptist middle and high school bc I was a troublemaker. Best thing they could have ever done for me. So I can't really blame someone for being agnostic if they were taught by the public schools instead of being shown clearly through biblical science and history classes that God is fact.

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[–] • 1 pt

You went to the wrong church. There have always been grifters. Books of Jude and 1 John are all about avoiding them. You might do better with an orthodox church, Greek or Russian. Might not be easy on the drinking side, but with God in your life, you might be able to moderate.

parent
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[–] • 3 pts

Please find a close by nature/park area and go for a walk to appreciate nature or landscaping or whatever and the sunshine. Treat yourself to your favorite food, find a live performance. Focus on the pleasant surroundings and what you enjoy about life. Plan and take a vacation to see something you've wanted to see. Get yourself out of the environment you're currently in, even if just for a day, so that you can relax and have a chance to move your thoughts and focus over to something new and having nothing to do with the troubles of the day. You deserve to be happy.

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[–] • 1 pt

I need to go fishing.

parent
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[–] • 3 pts

"Going to the gym..."

This. Embrace and find solace, peace, strength and yourself in the discipline of iron.

link

[–] • 2 pts

Life isn't depressing. Babylon is depressing.

Move into nature, get some land. Grow your own food. Feel the fulfilment of growing instead of dying. Life is good. Babylon is hell.

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[–] • 1 pt

Ever heard that old saying fake it till you make it... Well It doesnt apply in the way people really use it...

It does apply to oneself in a negative way though. Put on the false happy face, and pretending for the sake of others, you will be miserable, realizing how unhappy you are.

Put on the normal face, and just be. then when something or someone makes you genuinely smile, savor that and find ways to do more of it.

You've got to want to be happy for you at the end of the day. Settle at first, for not being unhappy.

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[–] • 1 pt

(edited )

Be well brother. Sometimes you just need to do what is required.. what instinct tells you. I'd choose the drink over the 9mm.

AB/1488

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[–] • 1 pt

Just keep sober bro, soon your chemistry will balance, try to stay interested in things. Start reading or find something else to entertain you. Pick up a hobby that doesn't physically exhaust you, maybe something that makes you think.