Im signing of now before I get trapped all night and say Fuck All Yall. Believe me thats a term of endearment from me.
Im signing of now before I get trapped all night and say Fuck All Yall. Believe me thats a term of endearment from me.
Well there you have it. If you don't care and don't really want to quit, you won't. If your life isn't worth it and life isn't worth living or caring about, then drink.
Well there you have it. If you don't care and don't really want to quit, you won't. If your life isn't worth it and life isn't worth living or caring about, then drink.
I use almost this exact line with fatties except change 'then drink' to 'then eat'
I don't pretend to understand the alcoholic mind but I remember seeing a documentary where the alcoholic was hallucinating (auditory & visual) in less than 12 hours from not drinking. He was in a concrete cell and trying to dig a hole to get under the bars so he could visit his son. He tore at the concrete till his fingers bled & had to be sedated. His son was dead for close to a decade at this point but he did not realize this. Wicked stuff.
I use almost this exact line with fatties except change 'then drink' to 'then eat'
I don't pretend to understand the alcoholic mind but I remember seeing a documentary where the alcoholic was hallucinating (auditory & visual) in less than 12 hours from not drinking. He was in a concrete cell and trying to dig a hole to get under the bars so he could visit his son. He tore at the concrete till his fingers bled & had to be sedated. His son was dead for close to a decade at this point but he did not realize this. Wicked stuff.
Damn...
Damn...
I used kratom to quit booze. During the scamdemic I was drinking a 1/2 a bottle of Jameson a day. Not very sustainable. Kratom kills the urge to drink. Yes you are replacing one drug with another but kratom is a lot easier on the body. Kratom does come with its own problems but they are manageable and it's a heck of a lot cheaper that booze. A kilo of krat is like $70 and will last months. Search the kratom subreddit for alcohol and read all about it.
I used kratom to quit booze. During the scamdemic I was drinking a 1/2 a bottle of Jameson a day. Not very sustainable. Kratom kills the urge to drink. Yes you are replacing one drug with another but kratom is a lot easier on the body. Kratom does come with its own problems but they are manageable and it's a heck of a lot cheaper that booze. A kilo of krat is like $70 and will last months. Search the kratom subreddit for alcohol and read all about it.
did it before
did it before
Start building up the spiritual side of yourself. Come to terms with the fact your not of this world. When I find myself feeling miserable I just remember it's my spirit being miserable and it's longing to be back with the creator. We as humans have always used different substances to try and cover up our misery. If you can learn to calm your spirit, you might find an answer.
Start building up the spiritual side of yourself. Come to terms with the fact your not of this world. When I find myself feeling miserable I just remember it's my spirit being miserable and it's longing to be back with the creator. We as humans have always used different substances to try and cover up our misery. If you can learn to calm your spirit, you might find an answer.
You know, Im not a believer but I do see whats happening now and realize its history again. It is in the scriptures.
You know, Im not a believer but I do see whats happening now and realize its history again. It is in the scriptures.
Writing about it when I'm all fucked up in my head is very helpful for me. It's like my thoughts have to pass through a more legit bullshit filter when I'm putting it into the world (even just on paper). Helps with perspective and doesn't require anyone's help.
What a lot of us alkies find is that alcohol wasn't really THE problem. It was a solution to our existing problems.
You might try, as an experiment, doing the 4th step of AA - the 5th tells you to talk about all of this with your sponsor, but it sounds like that's off the table.
Write down a list of all the people and things you resent. Then make columns for each of them and fill out:
Why am I resentful of this How does this affect my life what's my part in it?" for each of them.
Then make a list of all your fears, and fill out columns for:
Why am I afraid of this? Does this fear stem from self reliance failing me?
Then make a list of people you've had sex with and make columns for:
Where was I selfish in the situation? Did it cause jealousy/suspicion/bitterness? Where was I at fault? What should I have done instead?
It's a really good way of finding patterns of shitty thinking and behavior, and isolating character defects you can work on or pray to have removed.
When I did this, I found a serious amount of selfishness, self centeredness, control issues, etc. Also that I had never really been trusting God to handle his end of things. Hopefully the God thing isn't a deal breaker for you. He was a bit part of how it's all working for me. Finding God gave me peace and sanity in an insane world. The main thing is to find a good church, which can be really hard depending on your area.
Good luck, man. I've been able to break the obsession - I know it's not impossible.
Writing about it when I'm all fucked up in my head is very helpful for me. It's like my thoughts have to pass through a more legit bullshit filter when I'm putting it into the world (even just on paper). Helps with perspective and doesn't require anyone's help.
What a lot of us alkies find is that alcohol wasn't really THE problem. It was a solution to our existing problems.
You might try, as an experiment, doing the 4th step of AA - the 5th tells you to talk about all of this with your sponsor, but it sounds like that's off the table.
Write down a list of all the people and things you resent. Then make columns for each of them and fill out:
>Why am I resentful of this
>How does this affect my life
>what's my part in it?"
for each of them.
Then make a list of all your fears, and fill out columns for:
>Why am I afraid of this?
>Does this fear stem from self reliance failing me?
Then make a list of people you've had sex with and make columns for:
>Where was I selfish in the situation?
>Did it cause jealousy/suspicion/bitterness?
>Where was I at fault?
>What should I have done instead?
It's a really good way of finding patterns of shitty thinking and behavior, and isolating character defects you can work on or pray to have removed.
When I did this, I found a serious amount of selfishness, self centeredness, control issues, etc. Also that I had never really been trusting God to handle his end of things. Hopefully the God thing isn't a deal breaker for you. He was a bit part of how it's all working for me. Finding God gave me peace and sanity in an insane world. The main thing is to find a good church, which can be really hard depending on your area.
Good luck, man. I've been able to break the obsession - I know it's not impossible.
no luck in making that list, not a believer but some things are impossible to refute
no luck in making that list, not a believer but some things are impossible to refute
Check out the Huberman Lab podcast, episode 86. Changed my life.
He’s a neurobiologist and explains in detail how alcohol influences dopamine levels and pathways in the brain, and armed with the understanding of what was happening chemically as I was quitting made it so much easier to quit. Being able to say “oh I’m just feeling this way because my brain is releasing increased levels of cortisol” rather than saying “fuck this shit I need a drink,” turned bad days from challenges into motivation.
I don’t feel like I’m living a life of abstinence, but rather I have a completely different view of/relationship with alcohol, to the point where I can have a few every now and then without having to get drunk on a regular basis
Check out the Huberman Lab podcast, episode 86. Changed my life.
He’s a neurobiologist and explains in detail how alcohol influences dopamine levels and pathways in the brain, and armed with the understanding of what was happening chemically as I was quitting made it so much easier to quit. Being able to say “oh I’m just feeling this way because my brain is releasing increased levels of cortisol” rather than saying “fuck this shit I need a drink,” turned bad days from challenges into motivation.
I don’t feel like I’m living a life of abstinence, but rather I have a completely different view of/relationship with alcohol, to the point where I can have a few every now and then without having to get drunk on a regular basis
I had a friend in a similar situation. We eased him off hard stuff and then bought him non alcoholic beer has a placebo. Eventually he didn't notice it and to this day he drinks only non alcoholic drinks and each night before bed he has one actual alcoholic night cap of his favorite whiskey.
I had a friend in a similar situation. We eased him off hard stuff and then bought him non alcoholic beer has a placebo. Eventually he didn't notice it and to this day he drinks only non alcoholic drinks and each night before bed he has one actual alcoholic night cap of his favorite whiskey.
Good luck. I quit cuz I didn't want to become an alcoholic 19 years ago.
Good luck. I quit cuz I didn't want to become an alcoholic 19 years ago.
You are equivocating. What you have to lose is your health and your life. Work on making those better instead of drinking alcohol.
You are equivocating. What you have to lose is your health and your life. Work on making those better instead of drinking alcohol.
right, so what does it matter?
right, so what does it matter?
You sound like an nihilistic, angst ridden teenager. Get your shit together and throw out the alcohol.
You sound like an nihilistic, angst ridden teenager. Get your shit together and throw out the alcohol.
it really doesn't matter anymore
it really doesn't matter anymore
“Its a fight Im not sure I care to win.”
And unless/until you really don’t want it anymore, then you won’t win that fight.
I had to quit for my health at some point. It was a life or death situation. Suddenly it became very easy.
“Its a fight Im not sure I care to win.”
And unless/until you really don’t want it anymore, then you won’t win that fight.
I had to quit for my health at some point. It was a life or death situation. Suddenly it became very easy.
I can relate That's all I got. Hope you can overcome your weakness , best of luck
I can relate
That's all I got.
Hope you can overcome your weakness , best of luck
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