I know this doesn't answer the question, but I quit lying to myself and to others, let me explain. Everytime I quit drinking I was proud to say I quit. So I told people around me that I quit. Not long after that I went to drinking again. This last time I just said that I wasn't going to quit at all, and that all I'm going to do is stop for now and go back to drinking later in life. Preferably at the age of retirement. It has been a total of 4 years without any drop of alcohol. It also has been an eye opening event realizing what the stuff has been doing to my body ever since. Alcohol has masked all the problems and without it I am more careful I'm caring for myself. First thing that hit me like a ton of bricks was the arthritis. That's mostly what I'm dealing with.
I know this doesn't answer the question, but I quit lying to myself and to others, let me explain. Everytime I quit drinking I was proud to say I quit. So I told people around me that I quit. Not long after that I went to drinking again. This last time I just said that I wasn't going to quit at all, and that all I'm going to do is stop for now and go back to drinking later in life. Preferably at the age of retirement. It has been a total of 4 years without any drop of alcohol. It also has been an eye opening event realizing what the stuff has been doing to my body ever since. Alcohol has masked all the problems and without it I am more careful I'm caring for myself. First thing that hit me like a ton of bricks was the arthritis. That's mostly what I'm dealing with.
That night/day I spent in jail, knowing that I put myself there, being thankful that nobody got hurt, and processing all of the changes that I had to make to not go back. 15+ years and so far, so good. Not the worst rock bottom story, but everyone has a different threshold for personal responsibility and accountability.
That night/day I spent in jail, knowing that I put myself there, being thankful that nobody got hurt, and processing all of the changes that I had to make to not go back. 15+ years and so far, so good.
Not the worst rock bottom story, but everyone has a different threshold for personal responsibility and accountability.
what did you do?
what did you do?
Day 3 of a binge, I decide to go solo fishing trip in an area that I wasn't as familiar with as I had thought.
I had been drinking vodka all day, and was still working on a bottle. I lost track of time and it started getting dark, and a storm was rolling in.
The storm was pretty bad, and I got lost trying to get around the lake to my hotel.
That is what I remember with clarity, but I just have flashes of the shit that comes next. I know I ended up in a ditch, and went to a house for help. I think that they were pretty cool and we going to let me sleep it off. I distinctly recall seeing a picture of their daughter and telling them that she was beautiful. For some reason, I can still remember that picture. I passed out for a bit, wile, thanked them, and went back to my truck. I passed back out again, and was awoken by the gentle tapping from a State Patrol Officer.
Cops were decent, I knew I had fucked the pooch, and things went like they do. I was put in a 12 hour hold and shuffled into the county jail. The guys in the jail were cool and didn't give me any shit. They get to see this shit a lot, I suppose, so they rolled me some cigs made from chew dried on the radiator and strips of yellow legal pad. I watched them play shuffle board with an empty Kodiak tin and "the broom". It was easy to get distracted by their pluck and resourcefulness, I kept returning to the reality of my situation, why I was there, and what I had to do to not return. Those were pretty easy questions to answer, but I had no clue what the repercussions were going to be, how my family would react, lost future opportunities, and if I could convince my now-wife to not do the sensical thing and leave.
In the end, I turned out to be a lucky sumbitch and got the absolute minimal possible "sentence". I had already taken steps to address the issue by the time the court date rolled around, and I was otherwise a good citizen (from a legal standpoint). Contrition goes a long way. I regularly attended AA meetings well beyond any court mandate, but eventually outgrew the program and have just existed as a "guy that doesn't drink".
Day 3 of a binge, I decide to go solo fishing trip in an area that I wasn't as familiar with as I had thought.
I had been drinking vodka all day, and was still working on a bottle. I lost track of time and it started getting dark, and a storm was rolling in.
The storm was pretty bad, and I got lost trying to get around the lake to my hotel.
That is what I remember with clarity, but I just have flashes of the shit that comes next. I know I ended up in a ditch, and went to a house for help. I think that they were pretty cool and we going to let me sleep it off. I distinctly recall seeing a picture of their daughter and telling them that she was beautiful. For some reason, I can still remember that picture. I passed out for a bit, wile, thanked them, and went back to my truck. I passed back out again, and was awoken by the gentle tapping from a State Patrol Officer.
Cops were decent, I knew I had fucked the pooch, and things went like they do. I was put in a 12 hour hold and shuffled into the county jail. The guys in the jail were cool and didn't give me any shit. They get to see this shit a lot, I suppose, so they rolled me some cigs made from chew dried on the radiator and strips of yellow legal pad. I watched them play shuffle board with an empty Kodiak tin and "the broom". It was easy to get distracted by their pluck and resourcefulness, I kept returning to the reality of my situation, why I was there, and what I had to do to not return. Those were pretty easy questions to answer, but I had no clue what the repercussions were going to be, how my family would react, lost future opportunities, and if I could convince my now-wife to not do the sensical thing and leave.
In the end, I turned out to be a lucky sumbitch and got the absolute minimal possible "sentence". I had already taken steps to address the issue by the time the court date rolled around, and I was otherwise a good citizen (from a legal standpoint). Contrition goes a long way. I regularly attended AA meetings well beyond any court mandate, but eventually outgrew the program and have just existed as a "guy that doesn't drink".
What exactly were you charged with and what happened to the boat?
What exactly were you charged with and what happened to the boat?
For me it was about 15 days after getting back from rehab, so I guess around day 45.
The realization that if you tell people you are going to rehab, they will forever look at you in a different light was unpleasant.
For me it was about 15 days after getting back from rehab, so I guess around day 45.
The realization that if you tell people you are going to rehab, they will forever look at you in a different light was unpleasant.
It is hard enough to start to see yourself differently.
It is hard enough to start to see yourself differently.
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