Nah, he gets rum balls and a pack of Kools.

I used this as a starting point for the ingredients, but didn't stay strictly to it. I added more bacon, mostly. https://kentuckylegend.com/recipe/bourbon-bacon-brittle/ The cooking part though, that I stuck to. You'll need a candy thermometer. One batch came out and was basically the tastiest superglue ever invented. Don't eyeball it the first time, use the thermometer.