Ya, the win in court was epic. Really dramatic. This woman had played me good but right after we got married I began to be suspicious when her demeanor instantly changed the next day. I was like, "Huh? What did I just do". I called the "friend" who set us up a year before and complained. He'd say something like, "just give her time, she'll calm down, she's nervous" etc. About every month I'd start having severe misgivings on her behavior and attitude and call this guy and he would make excuses for her.
Finally, when I'd had enough and started adding things up in my mind I realized I'd never have peace with her, never make her happy and she would of course enjoy making me miserable the entire time. I can't live like that. I like peace, calm, cooperation, understanding, etc.
Sure, I was stupid at first and I got played and felt like I'd been a fool but then if you know that, own up to it and start playing smarter. I started paying attention but I still didn't know the half of it.
Because she was Russian I had purchased a condo right in the middle of a heavily Russian community in Sacramento. Stores all around us catered to Russians and even her kid got to go to a mostly Russian school. It was ideal for her. Turns out, she got involved in prostitution while I would be out on construction jobs and though I had no hard proof, my spider sense was tingling. I went to a PI who followed her around for a couple days, then he interviewed her associates which scared the hell out of them and some of them confessed what was going on.
She was part of an association that she paid into in order to get advice on how to get me to beat her up so she could get "Battered Wife" status and a permanent green card and permission to stay here without being married. Basically permission to void the marriage requirement on her visa.
When that didn't work she faked injuries by gouging her skin while I was out of town. Dumb ass bitch took fotos that had time stamps clearly showing I had been out of town for days but the marks were fresh and bloody. That pissed the judge off. She offered to take my papers to an accountant I recommended but had him file me as single and her as single and head of household with her son as dependent even though she'd never worked a day in USA.
So, in the end, the judge was happy to rule annulment on account of fraud. What really got him against her was that I had her phone on my account and was able to capture her voice mail and put it on a flash drive. My attorney had him listen to it behind closed doors. LOL. Is that legal? Don't know but the judge alluded to it in court. It was then I realized he must have heard the recordings.
But get this, my PI told me he'd had a similar case a year or so before where the Russian wife convinced her husband to leave his pistol in the house for her protection. He came home and she shot him dead with his own pistol when he came in the front door. She claimed it was mistaken identity and she thought it was an intruder. The family tried to pursue justice for a time but eventually gave up because they were emotionally traumatized and didn't want to deal with it anymore.
So, yes, I got off lucky. The worst this woman did to me was put some shit in my food thinking to make me sleep while she entertained some guy. Instead I got really sick for a couple of days. I thought it was just a case of bad food until while complaining to my coworkers they put events together and I realized I'd been medicated/poisoned. Still no proof until a year later when I was cleaning the condo of every trace of her. I found the bottle hidden away in some of her stuff, carefully wrapped up in a towel. All Russian lettering so I took it to a Russian pharmacy place that sold over the counter herbal medicine. They told me it was an herbal sedative but you only need two drops in a glass of water. She'd dosed me with half the bottle. All it did was give me severe stomach cramps for a couple of days.
Man you're right, you got off light as hell. That woman sounds like an absolute psychopath, you're lucky she wasn't more intelligent.
Oh hell ya I was lucky. Afterwards I lay awake at night sometimes wondering about why she didn't do this or that. Like, I had insurance on my mortgage. If she had knocked me off the mortgage would have been paid off and she'd have the condo for free.
What's stupid is that she was involved with a group that charged for advice on how to get me to beat her up. Never worked of course because I'd just put my hands in my pockets and walk away which really drove her nuts but made me realize she had some sort of game plan. She'd get on the phone to her girlfriend and then start babbling about how we'd been fighting all day and she was terrified of me. I'd been just lounging around on the couch that weekend and my jaw just dropped. I'm like, "WTF???" And like one day she demanded we get a joint account and I put all my money in it and let her handle the bills. Oh hell no! I'd give her $300.00 on a Sunday before leaving for work and come home on Friday and she'd be broke. She's not paying rent, kitchen is all stocked up before I leave, so what the hell was she spending money on? I cut her off and would hand her son a $20.00 bill right in front of her before I'd leave.
Sometimes her attempts at manipulation were just hilarious. When I told her I wanted an annulment the first words out of her mouth were, "You signed papers" which came out as a sort of menacing growl. I started laughing. "Yah, and I can unsign them!". Then she went into whimper mode and started that fake sobbing noise. I'm sitting in the living room listening to this bullshit and kind of snickering to myself. From the kitchen I hear, "You're so stupid". Me: "So why did you marry me?". "Because, I didn't know, now what to do?" Me: "Seems like you're the stupid one then.".
One weekend I get up, she refuses to make any breakfast so I go to the kitchen to make some food. She's shoving me around, won't let me use the kitchen or get food out and then when I reach in the fridge to at least get some water slams the door on my head. Now I'm pissed. I go out, get a twelve pack of beer and come back. Beer for breakfast because I can see this is going to be a hell of a weekend already.
She calls the cops on me. Just to be sure I walk into the kitchen to listen in and realize my suspicions are correct as she hangs up. I double over laughing my ass off. She: "Why you laugh!!" very indignant. Me: "Because you called the cops on yourself." She realizes she's screwed and calls the cops back. Tells dispatch it's all a mistake and I'm sorry now then hangs up. I call the dispatch back up and tell them, no, it's no mistake they they should come out to see what's going on. I'm serious. Cops show up and I'm just sitting there in front of the TV having my second beer. She claims we've been fighting all night in spite of me sleeping on the couch all night and I've been drinking all night, "See, he has beer!" I show the cops my two empties and the rest of the twelve pack is unopened. I'd just purchased it. I tell them how I've been assaulted and how she's not letting me use the kitchen or even get bottled water out of the fridge. Cops tell me I should just leave and get a motel room. Nope. I've been in a motel all week and I pay for this place so I get to use it on the weekends at least. Then, like an idiot she is in the other room cursing me in Russian. I point this out to the police as she's still cursing and even though they don't understand Russian they understand the tone. She can't control herself. They tell her to pack some clothes and leave for a friend's house but she argues and points to the beer again. Cop says, "Oh, that's ok, he can drink a few beers." The look on her face was priceless. Yes you bitch, we can drink beer in our own home in USA. Me sitting on the couch calmly explaining things to the police a mild tone wins out over the cursing hysterical bitch.
That's when I made the mistake of not getting a restraining order. Should have done that but that's hindsight.
Me sitting on the couch calmly explaining things to the police a mild tone wins out over the cursing hysterical bitch.
You're actually luckier than you realise. The current "training" they give to cops for DV calls is that the calm one (aka the man) is a psychopath and probably the abuser, the hysterical one (aka the woman) is clearly the victim. If they deviate from this standard they have to explain why.
That's when I made the mistake of not getting a restraining order. Should have done that but that's hindsight.
Probably would've been handy alright.
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