The year was 2038, and the Capitalists had finally won, after the food wars of 2035... >The communist was atop the gallows, awaiting xher execution. >Xhe weighed a healthy 138 kilograms (fuck the imperialist 305 lbs), not including the [34 lbs](https://www.discovermymobility.com/store/scooters/pride-scooters/maxima-3-wheel/index.html?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=187007117) Pride Maxima mobility scooter xhe defiantly sat on. >Only three feet of rope was allotted to xher, due to the failings of the capitalist system zhe had to suffer under... >The executioner looked at zher, with a cold, hard stare... "You know, you could just get a job? We don't really want to kill anyone, just uhhhh, you aren't exactly carrying your own weight..." >Bravely, zhe felt the floorboards of the gallows creak underneath the weight of zher own justice, as xhe defiantly proclaimed: "Stahp body-shaming me, bigot!" >The mechanical door opened underneath zher, and the rope around xher neck miraculously snapped due to zher undeniably healthy weight.