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I guess we gotta shave our beards huh?

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Spoken like a woman

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Then I guess I really gotta shave my beard.

Wait! No, scratch that, I'm joining the circus.

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Why join the circus when the clown world is your oyster? Go and get yourself a cushy diversity job

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Why?

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Beards are makeup for men. It's like the easiest way to signal "manly" without having great genes or working out.

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Beard hair is part of your genetics. A nose job is not.