A penguin was driving his car down the road when it started to smoke profusely. He stopped at a repair shop and the guy said he'd look at it, come back in an hour.

So the penguin wanders into a supermarket, and is attracted to the freezer section where he can cool off. He starts eating the ice cream, and makes a mess.

After the hour was up, he goes back to the repair shop. The mechanic says "Looks like you blew a seal!" and the penguin replies "Just fix the car and leave my personal life out of it!"

I use transmission fluid. Slang is for faggots.