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300

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[–] 0 pt

My old bones dislike the cold more than the snow. Yes, we get winters in Utah, and little kids in suits ringing our doorbells so they can teach us right from wrong, but nothing like that below zero, deadly cold stuff. We bake in the summer, freeze in the winter ... I'm okay with that.

[–] 1 pt

I gotta tell you about a great new invention!

It's called clothing! I didn't realize you were that old!

Actually, I have appropriate cold-weather gear and I don't get too pissy until it gets below 0°.

I get a little grumpy by -10°.

-20 is bullshit and entirely not okay - but I will go out in it, but only if I have to.

-21 and I'm not leaving - except to take care of important things.

-30 and you can fuck right off.

-40 is absolutely fucking retarded - but kinda awesome. That shit will kill you. So, it's almost awesome - but it's too fucking cold to be awesome.

You can start peeing on stuff at about -15°, but it doesn't get really cool until about -25. That's when it actually builds a tower of pee. You get like a stalagmite made of urine.

If you spit on something up above you, you can make a spitsicle. If you got a good loogy going, you can make a pretty sweet spitsicle. It's like a snot stalagmite.

So, it does have certain benefits - but mostly it's just cold.

The wind makes it suck balls sometimes. Heated snowmobile suits make it much better - but they suck when you get away from a power source and batteries packs for them are bulky and don't last long.

There...

Now, I'm gonna leave early. Fuck it. I am gonna go make some noise! Have an excellent day. but only if you want to!