Dude...
It's getting late, but I gotta tell you the rest.
I own an excavator. Like, not just my backhoe - but I own a giant working excavator. It came with the farm! It's a Cat, but I don't know the model number offhand. I's a big fucker and I can kinda use it.
Much to my surprise, the top spins around on 'em amazingly fast. Like, far faster than they show professionals moving 'em - but there's a video where the open boom is being used to propel a water skier behind them.
They literally drove their excavator into the water and then swung the top around fast enough to water ski behind it. They even made a video - and I've never met them. I'm pretty sure they were Russians.
Anyhow...
Fuck that...
Imagine a 1982 Dodge Omni.
Imagine a length of chain with a cabled quick release.
Now, attach 'em both to the bucket.
I bet I could chuck a fucking car with it.
However, I'm not completely sure that it'd withstand the torque stresses and I really, really don't think it'd be prudent to break it.
Still, I'm pretty sure I can chuck a car with an excavator. It's just REALLY expensive if I seriously break it. Also, they kind of use it - pretty much every few days, sometimes more often. I'm also pretty sure insurance isn't going to cover it.
You just need the right group of friends to come over with some weed and beer and plenty of cameras. Add a Russian or two for spice.
Pretty much the only thing I'm lacking is a Dodge Omni. I do have an old Saab with a blown engine.
I got a fucking tractor, I can drag that fucker straight down the road. There are no cops in my neighborhood. If there are, they're not going to bug me. They'll see me dragging a Saab down the road and know that I'm on a mission - plus, I have a tractor. If you have a tractor, the cop can't pull you over unless you let him.
Yeah, reading your last comment about your tractor, I totally pictured you as tank guy.
"How do we stop it?" - Uh, we don't!
Better than dragging car, gotta drag something more menacing like one of those industrial shredders or something.
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