“Oh you right, you right!”, the Walmart receipt checking sheboon cackled when I remarked, “Oh the irony” as she counted the number of items (two) against the sales slip.

I don't understand what's up with Gregg's. Can someone explain?

'If you are having to steal from Gregg's, you have definitely made some bad life choices somewhere along the line.'

Wrong. He doesn't need to steal, he does it because he can. Big difference. He knows he won't get punished. The police are too busy battling the muslims, africans, going after anti-semitism and monitoring social media to bother going after him.

he could not believe it when he saw his shopping basket was secured with a grey tag

Import the third world, become the third world.