It's smart not to be promiscuous. Too many diseases, too many dramas. But it's silly to force yourself to wait until you're married.
I've been married to the same person for 20 years. We had sex many times before marriage. Our relationship is stronger and has lasted longer than almost every single Christian couple we've known. Neither of us is religious. (I'm only here because I saw this on the ALL frontpage and it was an interesting topic)
I don't believe it's the sex that ruins the relationship, it's the people. Let's face it, the vast majority of people are going to be unreliable, untrustworthy, and not long lasting relationship material. Waiting until marriage is really only beneficial to the woman, as it would help weed out men who only wanted in her pants at the soonest opportunity, and weren't interested in a significant relationship. Assuming that's even what she wants, of course.
Men waiting what could be years, is only hurting yourself in the end. Say if you're a young man and dated a woman for 2 years before marriage, (it was 3 in my case), and you waited all of those 2 years before having sex with her or anyone else, then by the time you're both in your 30's, you're going to wish you hadn't waited and could have that time back. You'll typically find that by her 30's, particularly the middle and late 30's, she's not going to be interested in sex anywhere near as often as you will be. So you've basically just cheated yourself out of 2 years of your prime sexual life that you'll never be able to get back.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply; sincere congratulations on your long-lasting marriage; that is awesome ! I hope it continues to be a beacon of hope for others in your community, and a stabilizer of White Society.
Now, I have relatively limited exposure to marriages outside the Christian milieu, so I’m fuzzy on what marriage means within the context of your worldview. What would you say is the purpose of marriage ? What defines a successful one ? A “failed” one ?
Sincerely interested.
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