Some lesbians do call themselves gay, including myself. I usually say lesbian, gay, or a homosexual woman.
That seems fairest - that people can define themselves how they want to. You shouldn't necessarily have to be associated with people you don't want to be, that includes on the basis of sexuality, race or religion.
I try to remind myself that people shouldn't be lumped together because I don't want to be lumped in or have assumptions made about me because of characteristics that I might share with someone else, we might be completely different people. I'm guilty of it though, typecasting and stereotyping, I guess it's unavoidable but hopefully mostly controllable or at least you can learn and be aware when you're doing it.
Regarding the acronym - the gradual adding of extra letters reminds me of salami politics, where people keep getting subdivided into groups, which in turn makes me think of communism. There seems to be an internal contradiction where people are slowly atomized into ever more granular pieces in the stated aim of bringing us together. In this context that means that there would need to be an almost infinite number of letters to cover all the possible permutations of sexuality.
It would be great if it went the other way and people came together more. But then where do you draw those lines? No easy answers I guess. Your community has to do what it needs to do to get equal rights and protections but if it comes at the cost of your individuality then there can be downsides, one of them being the potential manipulation by bad actors for political gain, in this case education and awareness is the best defense.
I think on this issue regularly, but usually on the matter of race, although there is a parallel with your situation that gives me food for thought. Thank you for answering though, I didn't mean to pry into your personal situation. I'm a recent arrival just browsing the new category and probably wandered in to the wrong saloon so I'll leave you to discuss the matter in peace.
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