Jokes, jokes and more jokes. Dad jokes OK too. | Poal: Say what you want.

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ᐊ page 45 ᐅ

250

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Every time I open a bottle of wine, I try and let it breathe, but it never does...

895

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Why did the beach blush?

994

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I am about as smooth as technetium is natural.

1.1K

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There was a pretty awkward silence at the dinner table, so I decided to talk about the crashing of the titanic…

1

809

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A woman walks into an ice cream parlour and asks for a scoop of chocolate ice cream. "I'm sorry ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream."

1

1.2K

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Why did the hipster empty water from an ice cube tray into his drink?

1

255

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What do you call water that’s impossible to freeze?

1.5K

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A Fed is having a drink at a bar. His coworker walks in, sits next to him, and asks him "How was work today?"

4

1.2K

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The gym teacher gets a handgun, the janitor gets a shot gun and the principal gets an uzi. What do they arm the lunch lady with?

422

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A blonde woman is distraught because she thinks her husband is having an affair, so she goes out and purchases a handgun...

642

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I started a business selling landmines that look like prayer mats…

767

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I went outside yesterday, punched a white person and was charged with assault. I went outside today, punched a black person...

556

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What would you call a second holocaust?

630

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A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while. Eventually he returns home and he is now a Christian. The man finds this to be odd and mentions it to his friend...

706

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Don't tell anytwo...

1.4K

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Police are not ruling out finding more survivors of the garlic festival shooting...

467

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My life has been full of priceless moments...

240

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I'm always getting picked on at school. Just yesterday, two boys pinned me down and wrapped a entire toilet roll around my head. I hate bullies...

1.5K

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I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45...

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"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a wonderful saying...

775

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“You da bomb!” “No, you da bomb!”

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I was hiking once with my girlfriend, when suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me...

531

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Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

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Why do hunters make better lovers?

4

907

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A businessman arrives in Japan and decides to get an escort for the night. He turns off the light and proceeds to caress her. When he finally penetrates her she says, "Machigatta ana!"

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