Good shit. Belongs in Theos Opium Den.
Good shit. Belongs in Theos Opium Den.
We've got a safe tucked away on a shelf upstairs. We both have the code and both of our shit is in it. My wife likes me to put all of the things in the safe and take all of them out. To this day I'm not really sure why. Wife says to me, can you put this away for me? I say sure. Can't you do it, though? She is already upset with me. I can tell. The cat can tell. He takes a break from licking his asshole to look at me. Like he pities me. Or I could just do it. This seems to calm my wife. But I really like to fuck with her. Even if it means I'll be spending the night talking about feelings. So I say. But, what's your deal with the safe? Why don't you like going in it? It's not that I don't like it. I could fall. She says this very fast as if it should be obvious. Like I should already know she could fall on the two steps of a ladder we both need to fucking use in order to get a good look into our safe. So I just stare at her for a millisecond too long. It's not stable! I understand, babe. Don't get upset. I can fix this. I don't want you to fall trying to climb the two steps it takes to look into the safe. I'm a selfish fuck. Selfish as fuck. I had no idea you had so much trouble with steps. How have you made it this long with all the steps you've taken? I want nothing more than your safety. Come to think of it I think we should get a ranch. It might take a while so you might have to live on the first floor of the house until we can sell this house and get another. I wouldn't want you risking your life to get your pajamas at night. I'll get them. Because stairs are risky. But fuck me, right. Let me walk up the stairs of death to get you the shit you want.
Not in one fell swoop but we spend the rest of the night talking about feelings. And it was worth it.
We've got a safe tucked away on a shelf upstairs. We both have the code and both of our shit is in it.
My wife likes me to put all of the things in the safe and take all of them out. To this day I'm not really sure why.
Wife says to me, can you put this away for me?
I say sure. Can't you do it, though?
She is already upset with me. I can tell. The cat can tell. He takes a break from licking his asshole to look at me. Like he pities me.
Or I could just do it.
This seems to calm my wife. But I really like to fuck with her. Even if it means I'll be spending the night talking about *feelings*. So I say.
But, what's your deal with the safe? Why don't you like going in it?
It's not that I don't like it. I could fall.
She says this very fast as if it should be obvious. Like I should already know she could fall on the two steps of a ladder we both need to fucking use in order to get a good look into our safe. So I just stare at her for a millisecond too long.
It's not stable!
I understand, babe.
Don't get upset.
I can fix this.
I don't want you to fall trying to climb the two steps it takes to look into the safe. I'm a selfish fuck. Selfish as fuck. I had no idea you had so much trouble with steps. How have you made it this long with all the steps you've taken? I want nothing more than your safety. Come to think of it I think we should get a ranch. It might take a while so you might have to live on the first floor of the house until we can sell this house and get another. I wouldn't want you risking your life to get your pajamas at night. I'll get them. Because stairs are risky. But fuck me, right. Let me walk up the stairs of death to get you the shit you want.
Not in one fell swoop but we spend the rest of the night talking about feelings. And it was worth it.
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