The Irish guy goes to the doctor. "Listen, doc, I'm sick and tired of people making fun of me for being Irish. They say I'm a drunk and eat nothing but potatoes and all that. Is there something you could do to make me another nationality?" The doctor thinks a minute, then brightens up and says "We could remove ninety percent of your brain, then for all practical purposes you'd be a Polack!" The Irishman beams, and says "That sounds great, Doc! Let's get on it right away!" Later, as he's coming out of the anesthetic, an orderly bursts into his room and says "Mr. Paddy! Mr. Paddy! There's been a terrible mistake! Instead of removing ninety percent of your brain, we removed *ninety-nine* percent of your brain!" The Irishman gets up on one elbow, and says "Sheee-hut! You got to be jivin' me, mo-fucka!"