How hard is it to make a WhatsApp clone to just use amongst your family and friends, amd have it hosted off your home network and be safe from paying eyes?

Very hard to navigate how to even communicate with others without being constantly monitored. Privacy is so underrated nowadays.

I wonder if this is true, I doubt really doubt it. Misinformation is part of the game as well.

They say the same thing about Tor.

IDK about that, but for privacy it requires your phone number. That's a big no no for privacy enthusiasts, try sessions instead. https://getsession.org/