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Hooray! Experts are no longer baffled!

Totally unrelated, but do consult for discussion on the falsification of scientific research.

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One of the people I work with who got vaxxed had a heart attack over the weekend...

[–] 2 pts

Ouch. Tell them they need to stop taking cold showers and using plastic forks. That will prevent it.

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Global warming my friend. Come on man!

[–] 3 pts

AND global warming. Rhinoceros and packs of playing cards will also cause that.

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...due to people getting Covid.

Get fucked! It's due to people getting the fucking jabs. Getting COVID might increase your chances of heart problems, but getting jabbed doesn't reduce the likelihood that you'll get COVID and also directly damages heart tissues. For an unvaccinated person to get heart damage from COVID itself, the virus would need to get past their innate and mucosal immune systems.

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Coming up next: a vaccine for heart failure, brought to you by the same trusted makers of the totally safe and effective COVID vaccine.