who let her do the honors?

Was the point of her doing it over the balcony that the shards of glass and extra champagne end up on their neighbors patio furniture?

Classy.

This is exactly how glocks get mistaken for tazers.

Dammit, it's not fair. I've never been that lucky. If I drop something, it breaks. Remember those five gallon Sparkletts bottles made of glass? I do. I was 8 years old and so proud I could change out the bottles on the dispenser. Grandma was letting me and I'd done it enough I was having confidence. So I take off the empty and know that part is easy as it weighs much less. I goofed and dropped it. It bounces off the wood floor and I have a moment of great relief as I realize it won't break on the wood floor but when it comes down a second time it shatters. Grandma wasn't even mad at me.