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196

So this was fun. Getting paid to grill BBQ for these friends of a friend. I negotiated my rate, plus all the food and beer I wanted.

Now, I had never met any of these people, but as soon as I arrived, I could tell it was gong to be a chill day. South Florida, at the beach, and they all seemed pretty easy going.

As I'm setting up, prepping the BBQ with coals and such, the early birds that were there, started discussing whether or not the Will Smith slap was real or staged.

Everyone chimed in, some saying it was spontaneous, others arguing it was scripted. When the time was right, I took the floor and said:

"Never mind that, what I was thinking was 'Can you imagine if it was that Supreme Court Nominee Jackson Brown that got slapped? Everyone would say "Dude! You can't hit a woman" And then I'd say "How do you know she is? Are you a biologist?"

Birthday boy laughed his ass off and was walking away while doing so.

Mic drop.

So this was fun. Getting paid to grill BBQ for these friends of a friend. I negotiated my rate, plus all the food and beer I wanted. Now, I had never met any of these people, but as soon as I arrived, I could tell it was gong to be a chill day. South Florida, at the beach, and they all seemed pretty easy going. As I'm setting up, prepping the BBQ with coals and such, the early birds that were there, started discussing whether or not the Will Smith slap was real or staged. Everyone chimed in, some saying it was spontaneous, others arguing it was scripted. When the time was right, I took the floor and said: "Never mind that, what I was thinking was 'Can you imagine if it was that Supreme Court Nominee Jackson Brown that got slapped? Everyone would say "Dude! You can't hit a woman" And then I'd say "How do you know she is? Are you a biologist?" Birthday boy laughed his ass off and was walking away while doing so. Mic drop.

(post is archived)

[–] [deleted] • 6 pts

Then everyone clapped, and Albert Einstein appeared to hand you a crisp $100 dollar bill?

[+] [deleted] • 9 pts
[–] • 0 pt

I have a lot of fun in life. I really don't get your comment.

[–] • 2 pts

Was this one of those "party dad" gigs? I've heard that people are hiring middle aged guys to come and play the "dad" role at things like BBQs.

[–] • 0 pt

I would love that. I have so many horrible jokes I could tell.

[–] • 0 pt (edited )

Then they play air guitar with Van Halen booming on a Soundblaster with the sizzling grill in the backdrop of the performance and everybody jumped then clapped.

Then multiple middle aged humans attending the beach BBQ had to go to the ER with back and neck strains. Some fell or laid down but couldn't get back up.

[–] • 2 pts

How does one get hired by friends of friends to grill at the beach? Usually there are guys fighting to be the grill man for free. Please tell me. Super curious. I’m wondering if I can turn this into a weekend hustle I can post online.

[–] • 6 pts

I have to assume south Florida where a lot of the guys are gay, and wouldn't be cought dead cooking near a messy BBQ.

Go to Texas (or anywhere else in the south ) there will be 50 guys fighting for grill duties.

Just my guess.

[–] • 6 pts

That’s funny you mention gays in south Florida. In my younger years, I met a young lady at a convention. We hit it off we both had some time off so she skipped her plane back to Miami and we spent a couple days at my house then I drove her back to Miami. Approx 13 hour drive. She was a real estate agent with a lot of connections and had people lined up to meet me. Very exciting. I’d never been to Miami so even if I didn’t get any new clients, I was going to party a bit and stay in her badass condo in a high rise building.

Well, I meet some people, club owners and people in real estate....she wasn’t joking about these connections. We went out to these clubs with vip and bottle service and stuff. Really incredible for a guy in his mid-20’s. But then some weird shit went down.

This one guy was super creepy. He was the guy people were gravitating to in this section of a night club. Very flamboyant. A flashy faggot who just kept talking to us all night.

Well, we are pretty tipsy and can it back to her place. We were going to finally seal the deal. We have some wine and continue chatting. That fruity dude comes up in conversation. Well, that was an ex boyfriend of hers. I was confused. Then I was grossed out. Then I was thinking there aren’t enough condoms in the world to risk fucking a women who sleeps with faggots. And I didn’t.

She told me that all the guys down there are gay but have girlfriends and wives and it was normal. NORMAL?

So, that’s how straight guys and gals get hiv. Because faggots are fucking women.

[–] • 6 pts

Women real estate agents are one step above whores who will do anything to get a commission.

[–] • 1 pt

It is nearly impossible for a woman to give a man HIV.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

try-sexuals are the disease spreaders. it isn't just about sex, it is about domination and ownership. like the prison environment we hear of. it's hedonism and beyond.

[–] • 2 pts

What the fck are you talking about. I said south FL, not San Francisco.

[–] • 2 pts

You don't realize the extreme number of gays that live in s Florida?

Look at the other comments in this thread, I'm not the only one who has noticed!

[–] • 2 pts (edited )

He's a professional beach bro and grillist with a jeep and skills that pay those summertime bills. Think waterside Benihana. That's him. He can even turn water into fresh, ice cool Coors light.

[–] • 2 pts

Sounds like he’s worth every penny!

[–] • 1 pt

His name is Bradley Christ. He makes culinary beachside miracles happen amidst the awe of the townsfolk.

[–] • 1 pt

It can be a weekend hustle. It was actually more work than I thought. These guys had a lot of food. There was 15-25 people there. They had steaks, burgers, chicken tits, and all the fixings.

[–] • 4 pts

Maybe I can charge less than the competition but only make wieners?

I’m gonna brainstorm. If I come up with anything, I’ll make a post about it.

[–] • 5 pts

South Florida... sorry bro the Weiner market is already saturated.

[–] • 0 pt

Hotdog eating contests need lots of weiner. Kamaltoe has that market covered unfortunately.

[–] • 1 pt

I too am a fan of chicken tits.

[–] • 3 pts

I was at a grocery store a while back. I was at the deli counter. The woman says "Can I help you?" I says yeah, give me a half a pound of the chicken tits. She looks horrified and says "You mean chicken breast!"

I says "That's what I said. Chicken tits!"

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

bitch.. gimme yo chicken titz, hold da chicken

wayyyyht, gimme dat gawd damn chicken too ya muthafuckin slut

  • random nignog

nine months later, baby Ty'Shawn DeQuinco Belafonte Bartholomew James the Third Junior is born to single mother Jablonda Sheniqua'Del Wiggins

[–] • 1 pt

First two lines I heard to a rap beat in my head.

[–] • 1 pt

Step one: have friends

[–] • 0 pt

If we are all friends, then why would they pay me? I believe op said it was a referral type deal. Friends of friends.

[–] • 0 pt

Lmao. He is a master grillist and beach entertainment is his specialty. He uses the BBQ with a speedo thong and two flippers.

Think a gay mens night at Benihana but with debauchery, a lot of dancing, food tricks, alcohol, drugs and suckysucky.

Usually adult male entertainment is provided and anyone can simply grill so this might have been an LGBTQASJW event.

[–] • 1 pt

Then you insulted birthday boy and all his friends, grilling complete!