Either I haven't been opening doors stylishly enough or this is some very dry Finnish humor.

That's the faggot way to open a door.

Operate the door like an alpha. Kick that son of a bitch open hard so that the bolt takes part of the door frame with it. Curse loudly and proudly as you enter. Slam that fucker back shut, making sure at least one of the hinges fall off. Everyone inside is in big trouble now.

In the far flung future, where every door opened itself a single man is baffled as to how to open a door, and looks on The Great G. He finds what he is looking for in the archaic video format, on the prehistoric web, from a site at this point only annotated by a singular "y." In this he sees a man, as basic as can be, no ascendance, no cybernetics, not even a sensory pleasure machine attached to him. In this the man uses his arm to push down on a phalic metal object protruding from the door. As the door is pleased with such an action, it opens for the naked man, and lets him in. He then proceeds to use the same method to close the door, and to which it is pleased. And so our man from the future realizes how to operate this machine from a bygone era, and rams the whole thing up his ass accidentally opening it in the process before he strokes it from the other side until it closes, because in the future only the gays survived the jewtopia.

You may think there is no need for this...but in the last couple years signs have been popping up saying such things as “use your foot” or “use your elbow” Let’s return to the basics