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442

This was 25 years ago. I was downtown on my bike one night and had just left a bladder buster. Everyone drinks for like $10 until someone uses the bathroom.

Anyway I was bombed and wiped out on the railroad tracks RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE POLICE STATION!!! I landed pretty hard and literally it knocked the wind out of me.

I knew I couldn't sit there struggling to breathe because a cop might see me. DUI Bicycle is a real thing. I got on the bike and pedaled away while making the worst gasping noises you could imagine.

I literally could not breathe. Think of a deadly case of asthma or emphysema. Anyway I go a half a block and some guy walking down the street says " well don't fucking cry about it!"

I was trying to suck air into what felt like collapsed lungs and the guy thought I was crying from wrecking my bicycle! I'm laughing as I write this!

Tough guy that I was I kept going and regained my breath while making my get away. Small city in Florida. Early 90's. Before we got a baseball team.

This was 25 years ago. I was downtown on my bike one night and had just left a bladder buster. Everyone drinks for like $10 until someone uses the bathroom. Anyway I was bombed and wiped out on the railroad tracks RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE POLICE STATION!!! I landed pretty hard and literally it knocked the wind out of me. I knew I couldn't sit there struggling to breathe because a cop might see me. DUI Bicycle is a real thing. I got on the bike and pedaled away while making the worst gasping noises you could imagine. I literally could not breathe. Think of a deadly case of asthma or emphysema. Anyway I go a half a block and some guy walking down the street says " well don't fucking cry about it!" I was trying to suck air into what felt like collapsed lungs and the guy thought I was crying from wrecking my bicycle! I'm laughing as I write this! Tough guy that I was I kept going and regained my breath while making my get away. Small city in Florida. Early 90's. Before we got a baseball team.

(post is archived)

[–] • 1 pt

I've never heard of a bladder buster. Does pissing on the back of the building count?

[–] • 4 pts

Because it's a terrible idea. Someone or multiple people inevitably end up pissing on themselves because after the first person goes, the deal is over. So you end up with everyone in the bar trying to get in the bathroom or find somewhere to piss all at the same time.

[+] [deleted] • 1 pt
[–] • 1 pt

Nowhere south GA, used to ride a 8 mile loop with a 16oz Guinness in each water cage and half pint flask of something godawful that sorta tasted like whiskey in the seat pouch. At the halfway mark shots and a Guinn chasers and then a most excellent return trip.

[–] • 1 pt

that doesnt sound refreshing at all

[–] • 2 pts

that’s because you’ve never had a most excellent return trip

[–] • 1 pt

I was young, it was amazing...

[–] • 1 pt

I looked into bicycle DUI once and iirc it was a ticket but not loss of license/$10k fine like a real DUI.

Closest story I got is I had to ride a friend's motorcycle home from a bar once. He was so wasted he came to a full stop at a stop sign but never put his feet down. Just stopped and fell over. Fyi motorcycles are easier than cars to drive drunk cause they naturally go straight. Just remember to put your feet down when you stop.

[–] • 1 pt

We always took tiny side streets home and made sure to drive like 20 mph. Ah, the '90s.

[–] • 1 pt

Haha yeah we had a couple big checkpoints. Same place every time so just went around em.

[–] • 0 pt

I was followed by a cop one night in cal. I stopped at a light, didn't put my feet down, balanced and rode away when the light changed. Cops must have been like WTF?

[–] • 1 pt

On a motorcycle? I used to do that too. Sorta give it gas but stand on the rear brake. I need to get another bike.

[–] • 0 pt

I did it unintentionally. Busy worrying about the cop on my ass.

[–] • 1 pt

Yeah, I did a lot of drunk longboarding in Chicago back in the day. I've wiped out once, messing up my elbow with a lot of bleeding (it's good again now though), but otherwise had a solid record of perfect drunk longboarding. The drinking often happened at friend parties or at bars after amateur team sports games I participated in. Longboarding was the perfect method for getting back home quickly to go to sleep and wake up for work on time the next day (albeit with a very nasty hangover).

Godspeed.

[–] • 1 pt

I left a party one night with a HUGE plastic cup full of beer. Im talking like a half gallon. I was about 1/2 mile from home on my bicycle and wasted. I clipped a curb. went over, poured the entire cup of beer right over my head and landed on my shoulder so hard I thought I broke it! I actually ended up getting shots in my shoulder and it hurt like a bitch for about a month. fast forward. 2 years ago I overhead pressed 300 lbs twice on the nautilus machine. real weight on a stabilized frame. So I did recover.

[–] • 1 pt

Damn bicycles can be friggin painful. Went down a small ditch right in front of my parents house decades ago, right at the bottom my chain came off and I flipped over the handlebars fast and smacked my head on the pavement and was out cold for awhile, who knows how long. I woke up freaking out not knowing why I was in the middle of the rd for a minute. Nasty bump, concussion and sore ribs. 4 spectacular car crashes (Never the driver) as well, just lucky I guess. Two heart attacks hasn't stopped me yet either. I just don't want to die a slow death like cancer.

[–] [deleted] • -1 pt

yesterday?

[–] • 1 pt

i dont ride drunk anymore. too old to wreck